She Is Very Pretty
by Beasty333
Summary: Alex might not know it at first, but she was deeply in love at the very moment she laid her eyes on Piper.
1. The Tree House

**Based on an anonymous story I read online. I don't own orange is the new black. ****I'm just trying to have fun. **

* * *

It's raining. Me and my best friend Nicky are playing inside my tree house, well technically, our tree house. It was built by my father on our backyard and it has been our hide out ever since.

_"I need to go Alex, my Mom is expecting me to be home early today."_

_"But we need to finish the game! You just want to go because you're losing." _We have been playing Jenga while waiting for the rain to stop and she was able to crash it three times in a row.

_"You know I hate this game."_ She says while trying to concentrate. Using both her hands, she slowly retracts a piece. I swear she even tries to stop breathing just to keep her body steady.

_"Yes!"_ Nicky shouts in victory as she successfully removes her target piece. But as she was laying the block on top of the tower, the whole thing collapses.

_"Haha, you lose again!"_

_"Ok I give up. You're the Jenga master." _She sounds defeated.

_"Come on Nicky, don't be a sore loser. Besides, this has been the highest we've had so far, you're improving." _I try to convince her to stay longer.

_"Yeah but the rain stopped and I really need to go. My Mom won't let me be here tomorrow for our sleep over if I don't get home on time for dinner."_

_"Alright, see you then!"_

We're both excited about tomorrow because it's the last day of school before summer break. This means we can be up more late than usual. We are planning to see the latest Star Wars movie. I know my parents won't ever understand why ten year old girls like us loves to watch inter galactic Jedi and monsters fighting with glowing swords, but we're glad enough that they let us.

As I was about to go down from the tree house, I see this moving truck. I watch it approaching and notice the new neighbors moving in. I observe the family as they enter their new house. I am about to glance away when I see a little girl. She might be eight years old, I think. She have these long blonde hair that almost reach to her waist. She is simply the loveliest girl I've ever seen.

I'm stunned at how graceful she looks and excitement is evident in her. Normally cute little blonde girls wearing pink dresses, that might be having tea parties occasionally, does not interest me but there is something about her.

She is very pretty.

All of a sudden she looks up and sees me gawking at them from the tree house window. I am about to duck and hide when she smiles and waves her hand at me. Her smile is very contagious that I am now smiling at her too. I wave back at her and then I watch in amazement as I see her running towards my direction.

_"Would you like to come up?" _I offer her.

_"May I?"_ I nod and help her climb up. I can't stop looking at her eyes. They are so blue. Like the ocean, or the sky? Like turquoise maybe? I don't know, I just feel so lost looking at them. I can't remember if I've seen anything like it before. It's like her eyes are full of magic.

She is very pretty.

_"By the way, my name's Piper, what's yours?"_ I hear her say and it snap me back to where I am. Her name is peculiar but I like it.

_"I'm Alex."_

_"Well, I like your name. Can I call you Al?"_ She says with a smile.

_"Hmm, sure?" _I tell her as I push my glasses up my nose. I guess we're close now since she gave me a nickname.

I guide her and I let her see the inside of the tree house. She keeps on smiling. I can definitely spend many hours just looking at her.

She is very pretty.

_"Hey, your tree house is neat!"_

_"Thanks. My dad made it for me and my best friend Nicky. We come here a lot. We play games here all the time. It's like our secret hide out."_ I say to her proudly while I observe her scanning the place. I show her some of our games and books.

_"Can I come here too and play with you guys?"_

_"I think I need to talk to Nicky about it first but I'm sure she will be cool with it."_

_"Awesome!" _She's full of glee as she leaps and hugs me. We have a huge height difference so she's standing on her toes as she wrap her arms around me. A huger indeed. She smells so good. Strawberry-like kind of scent. I suddenly have a craving for an ice cream or a candy right now. How can hugging her makes me wanna eat something sweet?

She slowly releases me from her bone crashing hug and we just look at each other for a moment. Is she trying to peak into my soul?

She is very pretty.

We are both startled hearing her Mom calling from below. _"Piper, baby let's go. Your brothers are looking for you and it's almost time for dinner. You can come back tomorrow and get to know more about your new friend, she's not going anywhere."_ She says while giving me a sweet smile.

_"Bye Al, see you tomorrow."_ She complies but she seems upset. Her Mom helps her go down the tree house. I suddenly miss her smile.

_"Bye Piper!" _I wave at her looking like an idiot but I'm glad that my simple gesture made her smile. It felt good saying her name.

My sight follows them as they walk away and went inside their house. It's gonna be a very fun summer with my new friend, Piper. I don't know why it excites me to be around her. How can a little girl give me a lot of inner questions all of a sudden. Weird.

I have been staring at their closed door for I don't know how long when I finally decided to go home too. It's already dark but I can still see her bright blue eyes. And that sweet smell, It feels like it lingered on me.

She is very pretty.


	2. Clueless

_"When can I meet your new friend?"_

_"I haven't seen her since yesterday. I thought she'd be coming here this afternoon but I guess she had other things to do."_

_"What is she like? I bet it'll be fun hanging out with her since you talk about her a lot."_

_"She is very pretty."_

_"You already said that." _Nicky deadpanned.

_"You both have the same height."_

_"It would be nice to play basketball with her other than you stretch. It can finally be a fair game and I get more chances of winning this time."_

_"Maybe. But you'll never know, I think she can outrun you though." _I tease her.

_"Wow, already on her side? This kid got you bad man."_

_"What do you mean?" _I inquire honestly.

_"Nothing."_ Nicky says nonchalantly but with a playful smirk. I'm oblivious to what is running on her mind right now. We just finished watching the Star Wars movie and we're now both in bed. We often spend infinite hours discussing just about anything we're interested in. It could be the latest song we heard, the latest movie we like, the band we're obsessed with or in this case, about my new neighbor who just moved in.

_"Anyway, I need to tell you something." _I watch her face and it suddenly became very serious. _"We are moving tomorrow, not very far but I definitely need a bike to be able to come here now. You know, with the divorce and all, my Mom wants to get away from my Dad as soon as possible."_

Them moving to a different house is very sudden. Nicky just told me one day that her parents are separating. We weren't that surprised though, because there were long history of fights and cheating, but I know it does still affects her badly. I hope the divorce will be best for all of them.

_"Well, at least you'll get a new room, and is probably bigger than what you have now. You may get awesome new neighbors too!"_ I try to lighten the mood. I'm not the best at consoling a friend. _"Always remember, whatever happens, you are still my best friend."_ I cringe at what I just said because it's too cheesy, but I really do mean it.

_"I know Vause, your new blonde neighbor can't replace me. And stop being such a sap. We'll still be doing crazy things together."_ I just gave out a smile and nodded.

_"Oh and I can't make it tomorrow at the lake. I still got some stuff to pack and we'll be moving early."_

_"That's ok. I'll probably just clean my room. My Mom is not happy with all the mess in here."_ I gesture looking around my room and it looks like a tornado had passed by in here.

_"You can go with Piper at the lake if you want. Show her around."_

_"Yeah, that's actually a good idea."_ I am considering her suggestion, I might actually do it. Then I suddenly have a weird fluttering feeling in my stomach. I haven't experience it before and I can't understand what's going on inside me. I am excited of the thought of seeing Piper.

_"I'm sure you'll love that."_ She says while looking at me intently.

_"What?" _I question her.

_"What?" _She says while grinning. Now I'm confused and I don't know what Nicky means. We ended our conversation and mindlessly drift off to sleep.

* * *

Nicky left early this morning. After breakfast, I started the task of tidying up my room. I'm putting away dirty clothes and arranging my books while listening to Death Cab for Cutie with their song 'I will follow you into the dark'. I'm currently realizing that I don't fully understand the meaning of the song. I'm contemplating when suddenly I hear a knock on my door.

_"Baby someone is here for you." _My Mom calls as she peaks inside my room. She's been signaling that I should come out. I'm a bit annoyed being disturbed but I still follow her and I'm puzzled to who might be looking for me.

_"Hello Al! I brought you some cookies."_ Piper announces with a big bright smile that did lit up the room in an instant.

She is very cheerful. How can she look so happy all the time? Unconsciously I smile at her too. I took the cookies that she's been handing me as I notice what she's wearing, a blue fluffy dress that moves graciously with her as she walks closer to me. Her hair is in a ponytail and I can see her little ears. I want to touch them and I have no clue why.

All of a sudden I was enveloped by her strawberry fragrance. Her scent attacks all of my senses. It feels like I can even see how she smells like. Pink. Are my glasses giving me some kind of supernatural vision?

I am still looking at her when realization dawns on me, I now understand the meaning of the song I was listening to. Death is a part of life. Living can be more appreciated when you grasp the reality that every physical thing is temporary. But love, it being intangible, may be the only thing that can last beyond grave. I know in this moment that I want to feel what love is, I want somebody to love, and I want to follow that somebody even into the abyss of the after life.

_"Alex, thank Piper for the cookies." _My mother helps me get back to reality after my mind went somewhere else. I didn't realize that I zoned out for a minute there. Where did those thoughts came from? I feel so old all of a sudden.

_"Thanks Piper. Did you make these?"_

_"Me and my Mom baked it for you. I hope their delicious, I haven't tried them yet."_

Not thinking twice I grab a piece and I take a bite. It is a regular cookie. Nothing new. Basic type of cookie. But why does it taste like heaven?

_"It's delicious, Pipes."_ I say to her genuinely not realizing I have given her a nickname.

_"I'm glad you like it, Al. I would love to make more for you." _She is so sweet. I don't know what to say.

_"I better get going, I haven't unpacked all my things yet. See you around Al."_

_"Okay." _I guide her to our front door. Then I thought, this is the perfect time to ask her. _"Do you want to come by the lake this afternoon with me? I can show you around maybe?"_

She thinks for a moment then answers, _"I __would love to!"_

_"We can go at maybe around 3PM? I'll pick you up?" _I suggest**.**

_"Ok! I'll wait for you." _She agrees. She then continues to walk back to their house.

I'm about to go inside when I hear her, _"I like the nickname you gave me by the way." _She is smiling widely. I gave her a final glance while smiling at her too before I close the door.

_"You like her."_ My Mom says to me and she looks puzzled. She declared it like it was a given fact but also unknown. Like it was a constant in a mathematical equation but cannot be derived. She said it like it's a normal thing but also extraordinary. This is confusing and I need to take a breath because if I won't, I'll definitely pass out right now.

_"Yeah I guess." _I admit to my mother not letting her see my inner turmoil. I like her indeed, I said to myself not knowing what it really means.


	3. Eureka Moments

_"Do you know that a male duck is called a drake?"_

_"Thanks for sharing, nerd."_ I joke but I check if she is offended. I can't stop making fun of Piper's dorkiness that I discovered just now, and I find it fascinating. We are at the lake and I'm showing her places that me and Nicky usually go to.

_"You're welcome."_ She answers. Good to know she's not upset.

_"There are also called diving ducks. They dive deep underwater to search for food." _She continues. She is really serious about these trivia that she have. I gave her a smirk as a reaction.

_"I can see that you have a vast knowledge about ducks kid, but to be honest I'm more interested to know more about you."_

_"Okay, ask away." _She's now facing me and I think she's blushing a little. We are now seated at a bench near the lake. We just finished eating our sandwiches that my mom prepared and some cookies that Piper brought with her.

_"How old are you?"_

_"Eight, turning nine this June. You?"_

_"I'm ten, getting older every November." _Wow that rhymes.

_"You're very tall for a ten-year old, Al. You're as tall as my brother and he's twelve."_

_"What can I say, good genes."_

She started telling me about turtles now and how they have existed for around 215 million years when I see Nicky on her bike approaching us.

_"This must be the famous Piper Chapman."_

_"Hi Nicky." _Piper offers her a welcome smile.

_"No nickname for me blondie?"_

_"I'll give you one, what about Merida?"_

_"Funny Vause but I didn't ask you. And I'm not a fucking cartoon character. I want Chapman here to think of a cute nickname for me too."_

_"I thought you couldn't come?" _I'm stirring away to wherever Nicky is leading us.

_"Why does it feels like you're not happy to see me?" _She complain as she sits beside Piper._ "I was able to unpack faster than I thought and my mom went out. I'm left with nothing else to do so here I am." _I notice that there's a hint of sadness in her voice.

_"We have cookies, me and my Mom baked it. Please try some, Alex loved it."_ Piper might have picked on Nicky's mood too.

_"Of course she did." _Nicky said suggestively. And she's back to her normal self.

_"So, what are we going to do now?"_ I divert the conversation again while Nicky is eating. I hear sounds of approval as she take a bite. I know those cookies are the best, I said to myself. _"Let's get back and play some games at the tree house." _All agreed. We then walk back home with Nicky dragging her bike beside her.

* * *

We developed a routine ever since. Me and Nicky still have exclusive hangout schedules that doesn't include Piper but the three of us often see each other. It has been months and it turned into years and we all became really good friends. We do biking, swimming, endless games and just plainly goofing around. We have shared a lot of fun memories together that is worth remembering as we get older. But time tends to fly so fast as they say.

I was fourteen when Piper told me about Polly. They were best friends in an instant. Since then we see less of Piper. It made me miss her. I can't say that I am close to Polly but she also comes to the tree house when Piper invites her so I get to see her most of the time. Sometimes we just don't get along that much because she basically can't stand me and Nicky.

_"What's up Holly, I heard you have a new boyfriend." _I gave her a knowing look.

_"Piper why can't you keep a secret! Supercunt doesn't need to know! And it's Polly you asshole!"_ She directs the insult to me.

_"Come on Polly, Alex won't tell anyone, right Al?"_

_"Scout's honor."_ I say with a straight face.

Then Nicky came in. _"So, how did you force the guy to go out with you Molly?" _Added Nicky and I can't stop my self from laughing. With that Polly grabbed Piper signalling to go.

_"Let's go Piper, I can't deal with these assholes."_ She walks away not waiting for Piper.

_"Guys, please be nice to Polly, you know she can't stand being picked on." _Piper says with a sad smile before going after her best friend.

I kinda feel bad for what we did but we were just joking around. Polly is always been so overly dramatic and she can't stand a little teasing. But I might have made Piper sad doing that to her best friend and that worried me more.

I decided to text Piper that night.

_Pipes, sorry about earlier. I will apologize to Polly the next time I see her._

_It's ok, Al. She'll get over it. But please keep the teasing to minimum, she's not as tough as I am._ I imagine her typing with a smile on her face.

_Noted on that, the tough one._ I unconsciously smiled at my phone too.

_Anyway, can I come by tomorrow? I need some help with my weekend homework. I know you're a math wizard._

_You're just making excuses to hangout in my room again._

Is_ that a yes?_

_I don't know about being a wizard but sure. Anything for you Pipes._

_Thanks Al. Be there at 9am._

_See you Princess._

This is a normal text conversation between me and Piper. But the thought of seeing her always makes me excited. Better tidy up my cave of a room.

* * *

_"Nicky, this is the third time I'm explaining this to you, please get it already."_ We are in the tree house doing our homework. Or it's more accurate to say that I am trying so hard to make Nicky do hers. She's been lying down throwing a baseball on the ceiling and catching it back. I only get a reaction from her when she misses.

_"I hate radicals." _She looks at me when she said it and resumes with whatever she's doing.

_"You hate everything that involves work. How can this be so hard? You just need to see if the indices and the radicands are exactly the same, if not then you can't add or subtract it."_

_"You lost me at the word 'hard'."_

_"I will not solve all of that for you."_ I hope she can sense that I'm serious now.

_"Ok ok, I will listen."_ She then seats next to me._ "Jeez, you're not a good company when blondie is late."_ She's now wearing a smug face.

_"She said she'll be at my house by 11am, she went to the mall with Polly to pick up a gift for the boyfriend."_ Yes, there were last minute changes with our schedule.

_"Does Chapman have a boyfriend?"_

_"I don't know. She never mentioned anyone..."_

_"Really...I think she's just waiting for someone to ask her...maybe y -."_

_"Hello! Sorry I'm late Al, it was an emergency. Well at least according to Polly." _Nicky stopped whatever she's saying when Piper suddenly arrived.

I am speechless when I saw her. She's wearing a yellow dress that falls just above her knees. Her hair is down and falls to her shoulders, they are shorter now but looks as beautiful as always. She is smiling and she looks apologetic but it doesn't stop me from noticing the dimples on her cheeks.

Whoa I need to stop.

_"It's okay. We are also doing our homework while waiting for you. Or should I say, I'm forcing Nicky to do it."_ I try my best to look away from her as I answer and focus my attention to whatever that I'm writing, and why is Nicky watching me?

_"Finish yours first before we start with mine, I can wait."_

_"If you want, just give me your homework, I can answer them and I'll give it to you later. You don't need to wait here specially when you have other things to do."_ I suggest as nonchalantly as possible.

_"Wow man! Can you just do that for me too? Why do you force me to answer mine with you but Chapman here can play while you do it? I'm your best friend and I totally trump the neighbor by the way, and yeah that's you Chapman. Just answer the god damn questions already!"_

_"You really do hate math for you to pull out the best friend card huh?"_ I say while laughing but I notice that Piper is silent and not meeting my gaze.

_"Not a fan." _Nicky is back at throwing the baseball. Piper is still not talking. Now what did I do?

_"You ok there Pipes?" _I ask her. She is absentmindedly looking at her notes.

_"Yeah." _A brief answer. I learned in the past that short answers were never good especially when it comes to Piper.

* * *

I'm done with Nicky's homework and she's ecstatic when I give it to her. _"Next time, I won't answer anything without you listening first."_ I warn her.

_"Yes master." _She thanks me playfully.

_"Ok I need to go guys, mom needs me with her own emergencies." _She explains. Even if it's a joke, I know things with Nicky's mom is getting bad. She was never the same since the divorce. _"Have fun kids."_ She finally says then she wink at me before turning around. I ignore her.

Then Piper finally speaks.

_"I want you to explain everything to me Al, I want to learn from you. I don't want just the answers. That defeats the purpose of us studying together. Why do you want to get rid of me? Is it because I was late? I'm sorry ok. Polly just showed up early and I can't say no. I did everything to make her shopping go faster, I even Googled the best gift to give to a boyfriend just to make it quick but she's so picky and it annoys me sometimes but she -"_ I stop her by putting both of my hands on her shoulders.

_"Breath Pipes." _I say while looking into her eyes. It looks like she's about to cry. That was the longest ramble I heard from her and man it's unnerving but cute at the same time.

_"I will teach you my Padawan, before you get a stroke."_ I couldn't hold my smirk. She finally smiles and my heart feels like it's gonna explode.

Why do I feel like this? Why is making Piper happy more satisfying than solving the most difficult math problem in my homework? She may never know this but the reason why I want to give the answers to her is because I can't think when she's around. I get caught up on gawking at her more than actually studying. I love having her around, but it's impossible to teach her when all I can think about is how cute it is when she's biting her lips while thinking. Or when she squints her eyes trying to understand a problem. Or when she gives me a high five every time she gets what I'm explaining to her. She is so adorable.

I need a glass of water.

_"It's almost lunch time, my mom prepared food for us, we'll continue this at my room after eating as originally planned, is that ok with you?" _Please say yes.

_"That sounds great."_ Definitely great, I say to myself not knowing why.

* * *

We're done doing our homeworks. It went well more than I expected. I zoned out multiple times but was able to concentrate when I got to my favorite formulas. Yes, I have a favorite formula. Is that not normal?

Piper is now sitting on my bed while I finish up on my desk._ "I love your room Al. It's so... you." _She gestures to my pile of books and into my desk while she got up to touch my guitar hanging on my wall.

_"You always say that when you come in here."_ I tell her.

_"Because I really do."_ Her liking my room is like winning Fotnite. It's glorifying.

_"All done here. What do you wanna do now?"_

_"We can watch a movie If you want? And my mom approved of a sleepover." _She's blushing. Why is she blushing? This is the first time we'll be doing a sleepover without Nicky...

Oh my god. I can't breath.

_"Sure."_ I'm acting cool. I hope I'm not blushing too._ "What do you wanna watch?"_

_"You sure you're letting me pick the movie? I mean we always get to vote when we do it and I always lose since you and Nicky like the same genres so..." _She's rambling again. So cute.

_"I will let you pick this time kid, but this is a one time thing and don't let Nicky know."_ I try to be serious saying it.

_"No strings attached."_

_"What?"_

_"That's the title of the movie. Let me find it on Netflix, I hope they have It."_ She starts setting it on my TV. I never heard of that movie before. What did I get myself into?

* * *

Half way to the movie and I can say it is actually not bad. Our parents won't approve if they see us watching it though.

It is a romantic comedy starring Nathalie Portman and the guy from the That 70's Show. No Star Wars for me but at least I still get Padmé Amidala.

I tried to put myself in the characters' shoes to understand more of what is going on and I realized that being with a man just don't seem right for me. Every time they kiss, I imagine kissing Natalie Portman and not the guy.

Then it clicked.

I think I'm gay. A lesbian, indeed. I want to kiss a girl. I want to be with a girl. I can envision myself with a girl. All this time I was confused of why I don't get excited when a boy from my class texts me, or if they invite me on a date, or give me flowers, or even look at me in an admiring way. I want all those things, but with a girl.

Realizing this is like looking into a world that was black and white before and now suddenly have colors.

I gaze at Piper. She does add color to my world. I like her. This is more clearer to me now than ever. I really do like her. Will she freak out when she learn this about me?

_"You don't like the movie?"_ She looks at me worriedly.

_"No it's ah, continue uhmmm.. something just..wait, I need to pee?"_ I stutter. I don't fucking stutter.

She looks confused. _"You're__ asking me if you can pee?"_

I nod. She laughs. _"Yes you have my permission to relieve yourself." _She's still laughing as I went to the bathroom.

I need more than a glass of water now.

* * *

The movie is over. We are now lying on my bed facing each other. _"I wonder how it feels to kiss someone." _She says dreamily. I look at her. Her eyes are closed and I think she's about to fall asleep. _"Yeah I wonder about it sometimes too."_ I chime in.

_"I'm surprised that you haven't kiss anyone yet, I lot of the guys talk about you at school Al."_ She comments.

_"Not interested."_ I soun almost disgusted. I hope she can sense the honestly on my tone. _"But If I will be having my first kiss, I want it with someone who really cares about me as much as I care about that person too. I don't want it with somebody who I barely know." _I'm restraining myself to say that I want it with her.

_"Me too."_ She says. Her eyes are still closed.

It's hard to fall asleep knowing Piper is just inches from me. 30 minutes have passed but still nothing. I'm keeping my eyes closed hoping that It would help. I can't control my thoughts imagining how kissing Piper would feel like. I know her lips would be very soft. I bet it would be so sweet knowing how she sme-.

My mind went blank when I fell her leaning on me, then it happens quickly.

She's kissing me. And I stop breathing.

It was so abrupt, like 5 seconds maybe or was it longer? It was fast and slow at the same time. I can feel her hand on my cheek very lightly. I can feel her lips moving against mine. I don't know what to do. When I decided to open my eyes as I take a deep breath her back is already facing me. I can't move. I am stunned. She tastes like toothpaste and yes, strawberries too.

She kissed me.

She may have thought that I'm already asleep. Why did she do that? There is no way I'm sleeping now.


	4. Acceptance

**Thanks for the reviews and sorry for the mistakes. You guys are awesome!**

* * *

Piper was already gone when I woke up. Always the early bird that one. I recall the events from last night and it's like butterflies are flying inside my belly. So that's what it feels like. It was a 5 second kiss and I feel euphoria. I need to talk to Piper about it. I feel like I need to talk to someone about this.

I went down to get some breakfast because I feel so drained and hungry. My dad is already up drinking his coffee while reading something from his phone.

_"Morning dad."_

_"Good morning baby. But you know what, you're too big to be called a baby now." _Yes to morning baby-teenager jokes. I smiled at him.

_"Piper went home already, she's kind of in a hurry. She said she'll call you. Always polite that little girl."_

_"Okay." _I answer as I reach for my box of cereals and took out a carton of milk.

The fruit loops in my bowl seems very interesting as I have been looking at them absentmindedly for an excessive amount of time now. I hear my dad as he clears his throat. He might have sensed that something's up with me.

_"Whatever it is that's troubling you, just remember, somewhere in this world, there's an idiot pulling a door that says 'PUSH'". _And just like that, he made me smile. I love this about him, and I get why my mom fell in-love with him. He sincerely cares.

Wilson is my stepdad. My mom met him at work when I was about three years old. He's a Civil Engineer and my mom is one of their Administrative Staff in the company. My biological father abandoned us right after knowing that my mom was pregnant, so that's where I inherited my assholeness. All I know is he's a drummer of a well known band but I don't ask about him a lot. I guess I'm not interested, yet.

I never crave for my real dad because I could never ask anyone better than who I have now. I know that he genuinely loves me and my mom.

_"Dad, do you think I'm weird?"_

_"Well, that is subjective."_ He says while thinking. He then continues._ "What's weird for me, might not be to you, and what's weird for you might be normal to other people. But to answer your question, I don't find you weird kid. I think you're awesome." _He ended with a closed lip smile. He's always reserved in showing his emotions. I think I get that attribute from him.

_"I think I'm gay." _I blurted out not able to contain what I feel anymore.

_"You think? Now you being unsure about it is weird." _He's smiling and he seems unsurprised. _"Listen, we have been talking about this, me and your mom. She wants to do it first but I guess I'll beat her to it since you already opened up."_ I'm listening curiously.

_"You know we love you right? No matter what?" _I nod.

_"We have always known that you don't particularly get attracted to boys. Let's just say... we noticed for a while now that you've been only interested with girls... or, to this one girl."_ He is very careful enunciating every word. I'm dazed, and confused at the same time about what he's saying, and with his reaction. I want to ask who's the girl she's talking about but I know he wants to continue.

_"You can be whoever you want, whatever you want. You can love anyone, to whoever your heart may lead you. Just make sure not to hurt people intentionally, be good at school and wear your seatbelt all the time."_ He was extra serious saying the last one which made me laugh, but I get what he's trying to say.

I love him.

_"Thanks dad." _I sincerely said. It felt like a ton of bricks were unloaded from my shoulders.

_"And don't give a ffff... ah, I mean, don't mind what other people say. It will save you from a lot of stress." _He adds.

_"You can say the word 'fuck', I'm old enough dad."_ I laugh.

_"Watch your language lady." _He says playfully. _"We will always be here for you." _He reaches for me and gives me a hug. I want to ask him about the 'one girl' he said. Does he know about me liking Piper? Who else knows? Does Piper know? I'm in all paranoia mode when my mom came into the kitchen. I calmed down a little when she totally ignores me and went straight to fixing her plate and started eating.

_"Hey kiddo! How was your sleepover with Piper?" _My mom asks excitedly. Just like that. Welcome back paranoia my old friend.

My dad stood up abruptly and he face my mom. I think he might have said something to her but I didn't catch it. Then he started walking away. _"Good talk kid, finish your breakfast, your cereal is getting saggy." _He gives my mom a kiss then he looks at me one last time before living.

_"I love you baby." _My mom says to me lovingly with an extra tight hug. I don't know how, but with that simple gesture, I know that she accepts me for who I am. It was amazing how she can effortlessly convey her message without using too much words. With that, I know that I have my parent's support._ "I love you too Mom." _I hug her too showing how thankful I am.

* * *

A week have past and I haven't seen Piper. I don't know if she's hiding from me or she's just busy with school. I didn't ask or even try to call or text her. I feel like she should be the one reaching out first. Well, because she kissed me right? And she said she'll call. Am I going to let her know that I'm aware of what she did ? And I like it? Man, I literally don't know what to do. What if she's waiting for me to come to her? Does she know the meaning of what she have done? Or she only did it out of curiosity? My mind is gonna blow. Algebra got nothing compared to the complex feelings I have for Piper Chapman.

And what is taking Nicky so long? I'm at the tree house debating with myself internally for over on hour now about Piper, the kiss and my feelings while waiting. She volunteered to grab our lunch on her way here. We'll be doing some board games marathon, because why not?

_"I know I'm late, the line was long and imagine how hard it is to ride a bike while carrying these, you're welcome." _Nicky says while setting our food in front of us.

_"Thanks Nicky."_ I answer.

_"Whoa, are you ok? No snide comment or witty come back? Are you sick or something?" _Nicky asks sincerely but mixed with sarcasm. She continues to talk as she starts to eat and trying to keep the burrito in her mouth._ "Vause, I know you so well. The only time you don't talk much is when you're asleep, your eating or something's up. So whatever it is that you're hiding I will find out about it eventually because I'm your best frie-"_

_"Piper kissed me." _I say and she is now trying to keep the food from spilling out while coughing so hard. I handed her some water as I try not to laugh. _"I'm sorry, can you breath? Please don't die." _I try to sound serious. _"I haven't heard of anyone died of eating a burrito before_." Now I'm laughing.

_"You can't just blurt out a fucking 'kiss' news to me just like that!" _She's now laughing with me. _"Wow, better tell me every detail." _She says as she continue to eat again. I don't know where to start.

I told Nicky everything, leaving small details about my feelings towards Piper, which is still confusing even to me. I also shared how I came out to my parents. It wasn't a shock for the both of us finding out that we are both gays. It even made more sense actually.

_"So how do you feel about the kiss?"_ She inquires.

_"I'ts nice, I mean it could have been better if I participated and not acting asleep, but it was something."_ I can't help but smirk with the thought of kissing Piper.

_"How do you feel about her?" _Now that's the question I'm dreading to answer.

_"I think I like her, I don't know, I need to talk to her."_

_"Yeah let's see if blondie is in our team. I totally did see this coming." _I look at her waiting for her to elaborate.

_"Me liking her or her kissing me?"_

_"Both. You two should see how you look at each other. It's too cute sometimes that it makes me wanna puke." _I didn't say anything but I laugh.

_"So, we're gonna be one of those gold star lesbians?" _I say while smilling.

_"Definitely yes."_ Nicky adds.

_"I'm gonna ask Piper out."_ I concluded.

_"Of course you will."_ Nicky agrees._ "I know you've decided to do just that even before you told me. And I will be behind you 100% Romeo!" _We then finish eating and started our endless board game battles.

* * *

Hours have past and we are having a great time. It's been a while since we have enjoyed this much. I feel genuinely happy. Maybe because finally I told my best friend about the boiled up feelings I have been keeping. Or maybe because I'm excited to see Piper and ask her out. It's like my endorphins are skyrocketing.

I'm still deep in thought when I heard a chatting noise in front of Piper's house. I stood up and peak, I can see Polly and Piper.

_"Who's with them?"_ Nicky asks as she is now beside me trying to see what's going on. Then I see something that will haunt me forever.

Polly is with probably her boyfriend. And Piper, she is with someone. A friend maybe? Then I notice that the boy have his arms wrapped around Piper's shoulders and she is leaning closely to him. They all look happy talking about who the fuck cares.

_"Shit." _I hear Nicky.

With a blank expression I turn my back around silently, I went back to our game and made my move gesturing to Nicky that it's her turn. She complies not saying a single word and I appreciate her for it.

_Hope is a dangerous thing. It gives you false happiness. It brings you so high that when reality hits, you will fall so hard. And then, you will forget the meaning of joy._

Hello darkness, my new friend.


	5. Indifferent

I have been listening to 'Babe I'm Gonna Leave You' by Led Zeppelin. I've played it non-stop until I know every word. I'm gonna try to play it on my guitar, I think it's not that hard. I just don't like singing though. Maybe Nicky can sing while I play. I should call her. I haven't seen her in a while now. But music is a good company. Analyzing the meaning of songs is somehow entertaining for me.

A knock on my door got me out of my random thoughts. I am trying to occupy my mind with literally anything just to avoid going to my dark place.

_"This environment is hostile Vause, can you stop that fucking song!"_

_"Hello to you too Nicky, and yes you may come in." _I say sarcastically as she is already inside my room sitting on my bed beside me.

_"Hah, sarcasm, making the world a better place one insult at a time. Good to know you still got it in you."_

I smile at her making her know that I'm glad she's here. I turn down the music so that we can talk. Then my mom came in.

_"Thank God you made her stop that song, it's been going on for 3 days!"_ My mom says to Nicky sounding relieved.

_"Oh no, she will be playing another song when I'm gone, better brace yourself Diane."_ Nicky says to my mom while laughing.

_"Crap! But as long as it's not the 'You Don't Love Me Anymore' song that she's been listening to 4 days ago, then I'm good. That song talks about pulling chest hairs with an old pair of pliers! I never liked that one." _My mom sounds really disgusted, I laugh so hard.

_"It's not that bad mom, some people actually do that to inflict pain to their partners. Metaphorically of course, but same effect."_

_"Dark, very dark." _Nicky chimes in.

_"Right." _My mom says as they look at each other. _"Let me fix you some snack." _She continues as she walks out of the door.

_"So..." _Nicky begins. _"We need to go out. It's been a while. Let's have some fun!"_

_"If outside is so good, why has mankind spend thousands of years trying to perfect inside?"_

_"Don't you dare Sheldon Cooper me."_ She tries to sound offended. _"And besides, I want you to see my new car!"_ She is showing me her keys.

_"Wow, congrats man!" _I say sincerely. _"Okay okay, let's go, we need to test drive your new baby."_ We went out so fast that when my mom said something she's out of earshot. I think she's talking about dinner.

* * *

Nicky got the latest Chevrolet Camaro LS. Marta is definitely not your conventional type of mom, she goes all the way. I mean I'll be getting my car next year when I turn 16, but I have to do a part time job at my dad's company to earn it, and I'm pretty sure I won't be getting a convertible. This is excessive but I feel genuinely happy for Nicky.

_"I'm so stoked to drive us to school. We'll never walk again Vause."_

_"Remember to pick me up everyday until I get my own car. I'm excited to have a chauffeur."_

_"Wow. Just make sure to contribute with the gas."_

_"Deal."_ We then drive around town not having any particular destination.

It's almost 7pm when Nicky dropped me home. We hurriedly ended our stroll when I checked my phone and found out that I have endless missed calls and texts from my mom. I wasn't able to read her messages to find out why she's calling me that's why I was caught off guard to see the whole Chapman Family with my parents situated on our dining table. I didn't know that today is our occasional dinner-with-neighbor-get-together sort of thing. This is an event made up by our parents and usually happens at least quarterly. I totally forgot about it, dammit!

_"Look who's finally here."_ My dad says happily gesturing me to sit beside him. On the other hand, my mom is giving me this disapproving look.

_"So how was Nicky's new car."_ Dad inquires as he put food on my plate.

_"It was nice." _I say as I take the first bite. I look around the table and for the first time in weeks, I saw her. She is even more beautiful than I remember. She's wearing a pink baggy sweater which is a little bit loose but suits her perfectly. Her hair is in a messy bun, I love it when she wears it like that. She looks sexy. Wait, when did I find Piper sexy? Brain, stop!

_"Camaro."_ I say vaguely. I'm sure someone asked what car Nicky got but I can't remember who.

_"Sweet."_ Danny says.

_"Alex here is saving to get her first car. She's currently working a part time job with her dad." _My mom sounds so proud and I hope she stops.

_"Piper will be doing the same. She should learn from Alex before she starts working too." _Carol suggests.

_"Yep, I should teach her a thing or two." _I smirk while looking at Piper. She raised her gaze and met mine. She smiles and nod. In this moment, no matter how much confused I am of what I feel about her, I am again lost in her eyes. I am mesmerized by her. It's like the world is stopping when I look at those beautiful blue eyes. She is the one to cut our staring contest.

_"So Alex, I heard you're skipping a grade?"_ Bill asks.

_"Yeah I'm planning to apply and I hope to meet all the requirements but to be honest I don't want to be accelerated. I might just get AP classes instead. And besides, my mom wants me to have the whole high school experience."_ I can see that Piper is smiling and she looks proud of me? I may have been imagining things in my head. I then stir away the conversation to other topics like Cal's field trip, how my mom cooked a perfect lasagna or whatever it is that does not involve me.

_"Did you find a date for the prom Alex? I heard that you turned down a lot who asked you." _Cal asks with a mischievous smile directed to his brother. Damn you kid.

_"Nope. I guess I'll be going alone. And sorry about that Danny."_

_"Danny asked you to be his date?!"_ Piper blurts out with a surprised expression. She's been quiet since I came in and now she suddenly reacts because she learned that her brother asked me to be his date. Interesting.

_"Almost everyone did." _Danny admitted with a face as red as a tomato._ "I thought I had a shot." _He then added while smiling.

Piper gives Danny a look that I can't quite place what it means. Then she became silent again. This is fucking entertaining. Maybe Piper needs a little push.

_"Actually, I changed my mind. I will be your date Danny. It's gonna be fun."_

_"Awesome!" _Danny says.

_"I thought your going alone?" _Piper asks indignantly. Wow. I know she's got a temper but this is something else.

_"Yeah but it would be great to be with Danny. And besides, Nicky already have a date. I don't want to be alone in the pictures Pipes."_ I miss saying her name. She just nodded in return.

* * *

Dinner is finally over and the Chapmans said their goodbyes. I am climbing up the stairs when I hear Piper behind me.

_"Al, can I hangout in your room for a while?" _Piper asks. She's got some balls I give her that._Be cool, be cool..._

_"No lame excuses this time huh?" _I playfully ask while opening my door for her. I let her in first and I'm close behind her. God I miss being near her.

_"I just want to be with you."_ She admits. _What the fuck does that mean? _I just look at her and I'm trying to read her mind. It's like we are having this internal battle within us and I'm the one who's losing. I always lose when it comes to Piper.

_"Yeah me too."_ I say in defeat. It's the most honest thing that I can say. She gives out a shy smile and she's blushing.

_"I still can't believe you're going to the prom with my brother."_

_"Would you rather want me to ask you instead?"_

_"Wha..no. I'm just surprised." _Piper says and I thought her face can't be more redder but it does.

_"I should practice dancing though."_ I save her from the pit she dug herself in.

_"Yeah you should." _She laughs lightly.

_"Do you want to help me out?"_ It's a bold move but I need to feel something.

_"Sure, Al." _She stood up. I copy her movement and I stand in front of her. I unlock my phone and it was automatically connected to my Bluetooth speaker. I play the first song I saw on my Spotify playlist. This is going to be the song for our first dance, Glass House.

I take Piper's hands and I place them on top of my shoulders as I put both of mine on her hips. As we are swaying with the music I felt her intertwining her fingers at the back of my neck. We are looking at each other intently. I will give anything right now just to hear her thoughts. I am dancing with Piper Chapman. It feels so good.

She then slowly place her right hand on my right cheek just like what she did the night she kissed me. I close my eyes involuntarily for a moment as I fell how warm and soft her palm next to my skin.

_"Piper..."_ I try to talk as I open my eyes. She looks at me and then she speaks, _"I need to go. I can't, I have to...talk to Mark first."_ What is she saying?

_"Who the fuck is Mark?"_ This is frustrating.

_"My boyfriend. But I will be--__" _, she tries to continue but I cut her off._ "It's fine... just go Piper. Thanks for tonight." _I force myself to sound unaffected as much as possible.

_"Ok... bye, Al."_ She says and she seems confused at what's going on. I can't stand to look at her. After hearing my door close, I lay in my bed, just listening to the song as I repeat the memory of us dancing. I can feel my heart bleeding.

_'...hoping you would fall down into me, crash into me, won't you love me now? Fucking love me now. It's all broken, unspoken, just breathe me in, taste me on your lips. You can let me go, if you need to let me go...'_

**_-Glass House by Morgan Saint_**

* * *

You Don't Love Me Anymore by "Weird Al" Yankovic


	6. Jaded

If I could go back in the past, I would give my younger self a list of advise that could help her prepare with all the adolescent bullshit. Of course it includes to look away when she encounters a cute blonde girl. Scratch that, there is no avoiding her, she's predetermined to capture my sanity.

My mind is a mess.

I have been busying myself lately with a lot of school work, my part-time job, going out with Nicky and eating a lot of shawarma, and yes it's so delicious. All this hard work just to stop thinking about Piper, which is impossible as my thoughts went there again. I give up, brain.

I haven't talked to her since our awkward goodbyes, and honestly, I'm not ready either. I need to recharge. The only time I see her now is when she rides with us going to school sometimes or when she needs me to help her with something, with literally anything. It could be a subject from school she can't understand, her mom's phone that apparently doesn't have a signal but only needs restarting, her PC that can be fixed easily after updating its software, their broken microwave oven that I diagnosed with a busted fuse, and yes I was able to repair it even if they can easily get a new one, and today certainly the most ridiculous one so far, changing a light bulb in her room.

She may have forgotten that she has both parents, two brothers, a boyfriend and even a best friend she can call but hey, she's got her Alex Vause so why not her. This is unbelievable yet I know to myself, subconsciously, I like it very much when she needs me. But this is also damaging in a lot of ways. Not being able to talk to her the same way, hurts. And on top of that, I can see that she's struggling too which doubles my pain because I hate hurting Piper. Why can't she just replace her own stupid broken pathetic light bulb?!

_"We should charge you with all the fixing we do for you blondie, you know we need money for gas." _Nicky is trying to break the awkward silence as she holds the ladder while I do the work. I have been making sure that she's always present when I'm around Piper. She's like my shield to vulnerability.

_"Ok, all done."_ I hurriedly said. I want to get out of here. Piper's presence is suffocating. Her scent is everywhere. And it's hard to keep a straight face. That phrase could have been funny in a different circumstances.

_"Thanks to you both, can I pay you with food instead? " _Piper is insistent, obviously trying to make our stay prolonged. She keeps on boring holes to my face. Her gaze is like a lazer beam, I can feel the burning heat. But I also feel beaten up right now. And if she's gonna pay me, I can think of a more enjoyable way she could do-.

_"Oh sure blon--" _My unorthodox thoughts were stopped by Nicky who's starting to agree with her so I immediately cut her off. _"We should get going, thanks though."_ I say and I went out not hearing what Piper's reaction was. Nicky follows without a question and tries to keep up with my pace.

_"Hold your horses man! You know I have these tiny little legs that doesn't go up to my neck like yours!"_

_"Sorry, I just want to get out of there."_

_"Yeah obviously, but that was cold Vause."_

_"I just can't look at her with those bambi eyes. Not today man. I can't afford to be more confused as I already am. I'm so fucking tired I of this."_ I sigh.

There is a difference between giving up and knowing that I have had enough. And right now, I don't know where I stand. Maybe it's best for all of us to just move forward and be friends. I want to end this awkwardness. I want what we used to have. I need to fix this.

_"But yeah, that was harsh." _I admitted. _"I'll apologise to her." _I sincerely feel bad now.

_"Alright, let's go get you some shawarma!"_ I am so thankful that Nicky gets me. We drive away and I let the wind carry my troubled thoughts.

* * *

_"So Lorna is just a friend?" _We are sitting at a diner when Nicky told me that she met someone, and regardless of her endless denial, I can tell that she likes this girl.

_"You'll be meeting her in a while."_

_"Oh, I didn't know I'll be third wheeling."_ I try to sound offended but I really don't mind.

_"She works here you asshole. And it's payback time, I have been third wheeling for the last couple of years with you and Chapman, did you ever hear me complaining?"_

_"Fair point." _She's probably right. We both laugh at her argument.

_"Ok she's coming, how do I look?" _She asks while trying to see her reflection on her phone. I have never seen Nicky like this.

_"Mirrors can't talk, lucky for you they can't laugh either."_

_"Fuck off." _She sounds nervous.

_"I'm kidding. You look good Nicky." _I said sincerely but with a hint of smile. Then I hear someone speak. I look up and I see a cute but sophisticated looking woman.

_"Hi Nicky, and...?" _She gestures to me. _"Alex." _I introduce myself. "Nice to meet you."

_"Nice to meet you too. What can I get for you guys?" _We give out our orders, they catch up a little and she went her way into the kitchen to prepare our meals.

_"Isn't she something?" _Nicky looks dreamy. She told me that Lorna is a freshman at UConn. That she worked part time for her mom before, that's how they met. And that she works here only when she's free and just to help her dad out, who owns the place.

_"Cougar, I like it."_ I say playfully. _"But you've got a nice one over there Nichols." _I can see her beaming. This look on Nicky is new to me. She is truthfully happy and I feel the same way for her.

* * *

I have successfully mitigated my awkward encounters with Piper by acknowledging her. We never discuss about what transpired between us but at least we talk now. I still make sure Nicky is around when I'm with her but I can say we're almost like we used to be, almost.

_"How about this one?"_ Nicky inquires. We are out looking for dresses to wear at the prom. We never dreamed of doing this but here we are. I promised my mom that I would at least try to dress up but for Nicky, it was compulsory. Apparently, Nicky would never have landed with a Camaro if not agreeing to be on a date with someone her mom arranged for her.

_"It's actually nice."_ Piper says while scrutinizing the dress. She volunteered to help us with shopping and she honestly have a great eye when it comes to fashion. _"This one really accentuates your assets Nicky."_ Me and Nicky both laugh so hard with that comment and Piper is giving us her deadly glares._ "Yeah it looks good." _I try to sound as convincing as possible.

Nicky end up getting the red dress that Piper chose for her and I bought the first black dress I was able to grab. I tried it on and Nicky gave out a whistle so I guess she agrees with my choice but Piper only looked once, a long look, then she nodded and never met my gaze again.

_"Danny won't be able to take his eyes off of you with that dress, Al." _Piper comments while we are on our way home. She might have liked the dress after all. I only smiled at her in response.

* * *

_"I should drive." _Danny insisted._ "No Sir, you should sit beside your date and I with mine." _Nicky won't give up the driver's seat, her date is beside her, a kid named Angelo, I don't know how Nicky's mom found him, and I sit at the back with Danny. All formalities done, had some pictures taken, parents are happy and we're on our way to the prom.

_"To be honest, this is surprisingly fun."_ Nicky admits while drinking her punch._ "I see a lot of high slit with plunging neckline dresses so yeah it's going great." _I say while raising my eyebrows. _"You__ can read my mind." _ We both giggled. We are standing at a cornrer just observing while waiting for our 'dates' to get their drinks.

_"Care to dance?"_ Danny offers when he came back.

_"Why not, but I must warn you, I don't do this often so I might step on your foot."_

_"No problem. I have the most gorgeous date tonight, so nothing can dampen my mood."_

_"You know I'm gay right?"_

_"Oh I sure do, and I think everyone knows. But did it stop them or me to ask you on a date?"_

_"People are crazy." _I smile while shaking my head.

_"You can't choose who to like."_

_"You seriously like me? Come on man. I'm gay all the time. I don't make exceptions." _I'm now laughing. He went silent but I can see a timid smile on his face.

_"At least no one can take this away from me." _He now have a serious look on his face.

_"The what now?"_

_"That I have the hottest lesbian date at a prom ever."_ I laugh at his statement._ "Now I totally get Piper, the whole fascination thing." _He continues. I can't explain how hearing her name gets my heart beat so fast.

_"What do you mean?" _I inquire nonchalantly.

_"You should hear her talk about you. You're like Superman to her, but in a weird way she's Louise Lane in her story."_ Danny says thinking about the last part himself. _"I think she might have a crush on you or something." _He finishes.

_"She knows I'm gay?"_ I regret that stupid question as soon as it came out of my mouth.

_"I told you, everybody knows. And besides, I think she might have figured it out longer before everyone else does." __Fascinating_. I look at him as he continues. _"You know, I like you ever since we moved here and she basically told me that I will never get a chance. That I will never be your type. She's cruel."_ We both laughed. Piper is savage.

_"Your sister is something."_

_"You ever told her you like her?"_ Ok, this question is giving me anxiety now. I got caught off guard so I didn't answer him and I just look away. My mind is running a mile per second. Apparently, everyone knows I'm gay and that I like Piper.

_"I hate her boyfriend, she __could have picked a better one you know. Maybe a hot one, right?"_ He's wiggling his eyebrows as he said the last part. I smile at his gesture.

_"Well, we can't choose who to like, you said it yourself."_

_"Also, now I know why Piper always says, Alex is such an asshole but she's so smart I hate it!" _Danny is mimicking Piper's voice. I laugh so hard.

We kept on dancing while I was drowning with thoughts about Piper. Danny might have notice that my mind is somewhere else so he offered to get me a drink. I need a distraction. Nicky is nowhere to be seen and I don't wanna dance. I refused all who offered and I tried so hard not to sound like a jerk as I say no to them. I barely succeeded.

_"That's number seventeen."_

_"What?"_ I ask the girl who's now taking the seat beside me.

_"Number of people you turned down. I was counting."_

_"Stalker."_

_"Can you blame me?" __Brave_, I give her that.

_"Are you going to ask me too? You'll be number eighteen." _I challenge as I look at her. I think she's from one of my classes. I know I have seen her before. She's tall, maybe as tall as Piper, and she has blonde hair and blue eyes, but not like Piper. What the fuck brain, stop comparing.

_"I don't think dancing is what you really wanna do right now."_ Ahah, do I sense innuendo? Interesting.

_"Well, enlighten me then."_ I say with a smirk.

_"I think you wanna get out of here and to be at a real party instead and get wasted."_

_"Good guess."_

_"I might have had some pointers from your best friend." _I follow her line of sight and I see Nicky giving me a wink. She's dancing with a girl very closely. So that's why I can't find her earlier. What the hell.

_"She sent you?"_

_"Not exactly. She stole my friend and told me she gives me you as an exchange."_ I shake my head in disbelief. I'm gonna kill Nicky. _"But I can go, if you really want to be alone." _She continues and she's beginning to stand up. _"You can stay." _I say. _"I need someone to keep track on the number of people I deny anyway." _She smiles. She looks good. I think she's a cheerleader, maybe that's where I've seen her.

_"I'm Alex."_

_"I know. We have classes together. But I bet you don't know my name." _I am now squishing my brain to remember it. But you can't recall something that you don't know. How can I not know her name.

_"Of course I know. I...just forget a lot of things."_

_"Liar, you're the smartest person in school, you don't just forget things."_

_"You're Lisa right?"_

_"Nice try asshole. My name is Stephanie."_

_"That's what I'm about to say, I changed it to Lisa at the last second."_

_"Come on, I don't mind you not knowing my name. At least now you do." _She blushing.

_"Do you wanna get out of here?"_

_"Finally." _She says as she take my hand that I offered her when we stand. I informed Danny that we're going and he said they are about to leave too. We found Nicky and her new friend then we all went to the after-party. Things are getting more exciting.

I'm starting not to care.


	7. Vindicated

She defies everything that I believed in.

I was raised believing that if I will be a good girl, I will have everything that I ever wanted, and I will be happy. I didn't know that being good means doing whatever my parents wants me to do, to live a life that was already planned for me, and most definitely, I didn't know that being good also means not wanting Alex. I know I'm not happy without her.

_"Piper, can I please get your attention?" _I wasn't aware that Polly is talking to me for the past two minutes. It's lunch break, we're at the cafeteria and I can't stop watching Alex. I know exactly what Danny have endured during the prom. She is stunning. She's simply reading a book with a serious look on her face but I find it more entertaining than whatever it is that Polly is saying.

_"Ok, sorry I was caught up with something."_

_"Caught up with Alex you mean." _Polly is now annoyed. I never told her about my infatuation towards Alex but she always acts like she knows something.

_"I'm sorry Pol. Please tell me about your plans again. I will listen this time." _I'm trying to pacify her.

_"So, we're going on a double date tomorrow. We could maybe go see a movie then just hangout at yours after?"_

_"Ok Polly." _I agreed without thinking. I don't really want to go. I would rather sleep all day than spend the day with Mark. We have been dating for almost a year now but he's just an accessory to the life I was taught to live. I know this is unfair to him but I also know that he doesn't love me. To him I'm just a girl he can call his girlfriend. He's nice to me but I never felt that he cares. I like him for his looks, I know it's superficial, but I never see him more than that. Not like how I see Alex, how I put her on a pedestal sometimes, which is not healthy at all, but I do admire her in countless ways. I believed that being with Mark will die down what I truly feel about Alex but I was wrong.

She defies everything that I believed in.

Something changed after the prom. Alex became someone that I thought she wasn't, or I wished she won't be. At first I didn't believe it since I only heard rumors and stories of what a player she's been, but when I saw her kissing a girl at the school parking lot and being with a different girl the next day, my heart was broken. And I don't know why I feel that way.

_"I thought they broke up." _Polly is now looking at Alex and the girl beside her.

_"I don't know. We never talk about our relationships."_

_"She doesn't introduce you to them? I mean you two are very close."_ Polly is definitely fishing for information.

_"I only met one, the girl who's with her and Nicky right now. I think her name is Stella? Or Stacy? I can't remember."_ I say trying to sound uninterested._ I don't really care right?_

_"It's Stephanie, stop pretending you don't know." _Polly is eyeing me then she looks back to the Stephanie girl._ "You kinda look similar Pipe."_

_"Nooo, take that back Pol."_

_"Seriously! Same hair, height, blue eyes, you're basically twins!"_ Polly wants to get a reaction from me and I refuse to engage.

_"They have been on and off I guess."_

_"I heard she's been with all of the cheerleaders."_

_"Where do you get these information? It's ridiculous."_

_"I mean, you can't blame these girls. They say she's really good." _Polly says with a playful nod. It took me three seconds to get what she means about Alex 'being good'. I think I'm blushing when I realized it. Shit, I hope she didn't notice.

_"If I'm not straight, I totally dig supercunt."_ Why can't Polly just shut up?

_"What makes you even think you're her type?"_

_"What? Because I'm not blonde? Yeah, I know her preferences, I could dye my hair just to prove a point, no one says no to me."_

_"Confidence looks good on you Pol."_ I say sarcastically.

I ignored my best friend and went back to looking at Alex and her supposedly girlfriend. I observe how the girl is trying to get her attention. She's attempting to feed her with a spoonful of something. Alex discarded her book on the table, takes the spoon from the girl and eats whatever it is. Alex says something to her and she pouted, what the fuck? _Is she trying to be cute? _This is annoying. I hate that she's sitting so close to her. While chewing, Alex picks her book again, she's about to continue to read but her eyes suddenly landed on mine. Just like that, I was caught staring. Then I see her famous smirk. I can't help but smile at her too. I attempt to look away but I've had enough ignoring what I really want. I want to look at her, I want to be with her, I want her. I tried to fool myself believing that I can live without a glimpse of Alex Vause, but it will never be true. It's impossible. We just look at each other for a while.

She defies everything that I believed in.

* * *

Hanging out at my place after seeing a movie went to attending a party that we are not suppose to be in right now coz we're the only fourteen year old kids here.

_"Relax Piper, Paul told me her Sister is cool about us being here." _Paul is Polly's boyfriend and it's his Sister's birthday house party that we are crashing in.

_"It looks like 'Seniors only' party to me Polly, they are gonna eat us alive."_ We are sitting in a couch situated at the middle of the living room trying to blend in. I'm glad that no one notices us yet.

_"Here take this."_ Polly hands me a cup of beer. I am contemplating if I will try it. _Moral compass where are you?_

Polly tries it first and I can almost taste the bitterness as I look at her face. I'm guessing it's not good.

_"You know, beer is the second most popular beverage in the world, coming in behind tea."_

_"You can't escape drinking yours by giving me random facts Piper."_

_"Ok." _I tell her as I raise my cup into my mouth and take a sip. _"I expected it to taste like this but I still wasn't prepared for that god awful taste."_ We both started laughing at how stupid we're doing.

_"I don't like it either but we need to finish this." _Polly insisted. We are almost done with our drinks when Paul and Mark showed up. They have a bottle of tequila.

_"Let's do shots!" _Mark says excitedly. This is getting out of hand. _Carol will not like this at all._

_"Ok just one." _Polly suggested and I say to myself, why not? We all take a shot. I don't know about them but my struggle is real, the liquid almost went back up the moment I swallowed it.

_"Anderson Cooper is not joking about his 'Like burning your Lungs' statement. I can still feel the heat on my throat." _I said to Polly who's been trying to keep the liquor down too.

_"One more!" _Shouted Paul and some people cheered. We are getting some attention. We should stop.

_"Ok?"_ Polly looks at me. She's now asking for help.

_"I think we've had enough Paul."_

_"Come on baby, just one more."_ Mark says to me with a slurring voice. I think he's already drunk. I'm guessing this is not their first shot.

_"No, and you should stop now too, I think your drunk and we better go home." _The alcohol is definitely working on me as well because I feel a little bit dizzy now_. This is not good at all._

_"You can't just ditch us. Come on Piper just one more." _Mark is getting forceful in making me take the shot. I'm in a nearly full-on inebriated state and I'm trying to refuse but just to make him stop I downed my second shot hoping we can leave already. I surely regretted the second one. I feel like I can't stand on my own now. Mark is preparing another round.

_"No, I'm not drinking that anymore."_

_"Come on just one more then we'll go to my place."_

_"She already said no." _I hear a voice coming from behind me. It's a familiar husky voice. The voice that always comforts me. The sound of it is so soothing especially when she's explaining to me the laws of physics that I mostly hate. Or when she tries to make me understand the difference of voltage and current. I will never get tired of her voice. She can read me an entire novel in one seating and I can listen to her all day.

_"Are you trying to get her drunk?" _Even in my nearly cloudy mind, I can sense her anger.

_"Pipes are you ok?"_ She asks me. Her tone went from angry to sweet in a second. _How can she do that?_

_"Alex..."_ I want to say more but all I can utter is her name. I really do like saying her name._ "You're here." _I say and I went in and hug her._ "I missed you."__ Did I say it out loud?_

_"Let's get you home kid." _She hugs me back. I feel so safe in her arms.

_"Hey you can't do that, she's here with me."_

_"Oh but I can you stupid fuck. She can barely stand now, is this what you're trying to do? To make her crawl on the floor?"_

_"She's my girlfriend!" _Mark is now trying to pull me from her. _My arm hurts. "You have always wanted to take her from me." What is he saying?_

_"You better take your hands off her or else I will kick your teeth down your throat and I'll shut it for you."_ Alex sounds like she's in full rage now. I know she's not backing down. She's a little bit taller and looks more intimidating than Mark.

_"Ok easy, easy. Let's all calm down." _Nicky is here too. But of course, she's always with Alex._ "Hey you, Paul right? Get your friend here and we'll take your girlfriends home. I know it sounds bad but they are drunk, you are drunk, we are doing you a favor."_

_"Yeah I'll take care of Mark, thanks for your help." _Paul says sincerely._ "I'll see you tomorrow." _He says to Polly. I can hear Mark is still protesting but Paul drag him out.

Alex and Nicky guides me and Polly to their cars. _"I will handle Golly, you can bring blondie home stretch. Good luck, I can almost feel her insides are about to come up."_

_"As the rhyme goes: One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."_ I sing to them but I can hear them laughing. _What is so funny?_

_"You're wasted."_ Alex is still chuckling. It sounds so cute. She is buckling my seat belt and I can smell her. Vanilla and mint as always, intoxicating. I reach for her hair and it feels so soft. Why is Alex smiling at me. I smiled back. She looks so cute with her leather jacket. No, she looks hot in them. That's the word.

_"Hot."_

_"What?"_

_"You look hot, Al."_ _Did I say it out loud again?_

"I know kid." Alex answers while chucking a little. She's so cocky, but I like it.

I believed for a long time that she doesn't care about me anymore. That to her I was just her playmate since we were kids but again, she saved me. She really is my knight in shining armor. May it be from my stupid excuses just to get her attention or to any serious situation that I need her in, she's always there for me. She always do things I don't expect her to do.

She defies everything that I believed in.

* * *

I might have fallen asleep at the drive home. Alex wakes me up when we arrived. I start to walk but the ground is moving. Alex carried me.

_"She's so drunk, mom will flip if she sees her."_ I hear Cal say. Alex might have called him to open the door for us.

_"That would be fun to watch, but let's save Piper from your mom's wrath ok?" _Alex is trying to keep me out of trouble. When does her kindness ends?

_"Sure, but promise me you'll help me write my paper?"_

_"Piper can help you with that, she's better than me."_

_Yeah Cal I'm better! _I want to butt in with their conversation but I can't get a word out.

_"But with you we can play Mobile Legends after and teach me how to use Fanny. I have been trying but I can't kill five heroes simultaneously like what you showed me."_

_"Ok ok. Just make sure not to tell anyone about this."_

_"Not a single word."_

_"Bribery!"_ I whisper shout to Alex.

_"It's easier to bribe Cal than Carol, she will ground you for life if she found out your current state right now Pipes." _I can't argue with that.

She helps me get into my bed and I hear her thanking Cal as he gives her a glass of water and some pills. I lie down but the world started spinning. It's like riding a roller coaster in backwards. I can taste the bile on my mouth. I hurriedly went to the bathroom with Alex right behind me.

_"Look away!"_

_"I can't do that, I'm trying to hold your hair up."_

I emptied my already empty stomach. After getting it all out, I feel a lot better compared to three minutes ago. Alex helps me change into my pajamas because I still have no equilibrium. She then tucks me to bed. She now sits in front of me.

_"Please don't do this ever again Pipes."_ Her voice is so soft but with a serious tone. I can't place the emotion coming from her. This is new.

_"What you did is reckless and stupid. You could have gotten hurt."_ She sounds upset and sad at the same time.

_"I'm sorry, Al."_ I don't want to upset her, or make her sad.

_"I won't be able to forgive myself if something bad happened to you."_

_Oh... Fear. That is the new emotion. She is afraid. Of what? What kind of bad is she talking about? Like I'm gonna die or something? With a shot of tequila? Well shots of tequila._

_"People can take advantage of you Piper. Promise me that you will not do that again." _It's like she read my mind. Her intuition is astounding. And it went all crystal clear to me. She wants to protect me. Oh Alex. I reach for her hand and I try my best to reassure her.

_"Promise, I will never do that again, Al." _She really do cares about me. But why care so much? Please answer all my questions.

_"Thank you."_ She says as she kiss my forehead and then she stands up. _"I better get going."_

_"Are you meeting with someone?"_ I might have sounded a little exasperated. And I think I am. I don't want her to go and be with someone else. Imagining her with another girl makes me want to puke again.

_"No."_

_"Please be with me then."_ I almost pleaded. _"Stay." _I look intently in her eyes. I can see that she's deciding on what to do. I hope she will choose me. But who am I kidding? I believe that I'm not her priority, at least not anymore. I drove her away before. I know what a coward I have been. She's just here because I'm drunk and she wants to stay to make sur--

_"Ok." _I stopped with my inner doubts and suddenly became nervous as she moves at the other side of my bed, she removes her shoes, place her glasses on my night stand, went under the covers and lies down beside me.

_"I will stay." _She takes a deep breath as she close her eyes.

She defies everything that I believed in.

* * *

**Shift in POV this time. Again thank you for reading and sorry for all the mistakes. **


	8. My Universe

**Warning: **Look away if you're not into cheesy corny vauseman.

* * *

_"Stop staring at me."_

_"You're doing the same thing."_

_"Yeah, coz I can almost hear you think Piper, what is it?"_

_"Why did you stay?"_

_Because I don't have the power to say no to you, _I answered in my head._"Because you're drunk and you asked me to."_

_"I'm not that drunk anymore."_ She's now in a sitting position, the back of her head is leaning against the headboard.

_"Do you want me to leave?"_

_"No!" _She answered quickly with a panicked expression.

_"I just want to know why you stayed."_

_"I need to make sure you're ok."_

_"Not good enough."_

_"You're annoying."_

_"You like it." _Of course I do.

_"Honestly, I may still be drunk a little so you can't leave."_ I smirk at her antics. _"I don't even know if I will remember any of this tomorrow."_

_"Extreme headache will definitely remind you, don't worry kid."_

She looks like she's trying to recollect something._ "Did you brush your teeth, Al?" _So random, I did not expect that.

_"Did you?"_ Drunk Piper is entertaining.

_"Let's brush our teeth."_ She sounds so excited.

_"God you're even more bossy when you're drunk."_

_"I'll go without you then." _She is trying to stand up on her own but she immediately stopped. _"Nope, still spinning, Al."_

_"Let me help you." _I offer her not wanting to get a tantrum.

_"Let's go brush our teeth, you weirdo." _I say while guiding her.

I could be anywhere right now, maybe with a random girl who's willing to hangout with me. Or just be alone in the comforts of my own bed. But I would rather be here in Piper's bathroom, watching her struggle as she tries to brush her teeth while fighting drowsiness. This is way more satisfying for me to witness than anything I could think of right now. _Yes, I'm that twisted._

_"Alright, let's get you to bed." _I suggest after we're done.

_"I like the the taste of toothpaste. It reminds me of you."_

_"Oh really?" _I laugh a little not knowing what she means. It is going to be fun when she recalls all of this tomorrow.

* * *

We are now back in her bed, both of us facing the ceiling. I turn to her side to check if she's finally asleep. With the illumination coming from the moon, I glimpse at her and I can see that her eyes are already closed. How rare it is to behold her beauty this way. I can compare gazing at her with how I see the stars during a clear night sky using a telescope. She seems very near yet unreachable to me. I will never be with Piper. There was a time when I convinced myself that it was possible, but I am done day dreaming.

_"How come you're not drunk, Al?"_

_"I did not plan on drinking tonight."_ Because I was observing you at the party, but you don't need to know that.

_"Hah, funny coming from you. They say you always bring liquors at parties. How do you even do that? You're not old enough to drink or buy them."_

_"Now, that's funny coming from a drunk thirteen year old. I'm two years ahead of you so I'm more allowed to get wasted and buy my drinks." _I counter for argument sake.

_"That doesn't make sense, Al. And also, I'm fourteen now remember? And you're still fifteen not until November, so technically there are four months each year where you're only one year older than me." _Wow, I wasn't aware of that, she may have been really thinking about this.

_"Ok? Still, you shouldn't be doing tequila shots when you're fourteen." _I tease her. _"You're too young for that."_

_"Almost as young as you are."_

_"Uhm no, you're definitely a lot younger Pipes."_

_"Stop saying that."_

_"But you are. You're like a baby, better stick with milk for now kid."_

_"No." _She suddenly sounds upset._ "I'm not a child anymore. Will you ever realize that?"_

_"Wha...--" _I'm speechless to how my joking about her age escalated to actually hurting her.

_"When will you ever see me like how you see other girls, Alex? I'm not just the kid you used to play with anymore."_ She seems dejected and I think she's crying. _What the fuck?_

_"I'm sorry."_ I say to her as tender as I could. I apologized not knowing why I hurt her feelings. She doesn't want me to see her as a child? A playmate? This is very confusing but comforted her still. Drunk Piper is sensitive.

Her back is now facing my front and I wrap my arms around her waist, no sign of disapproval so I pull her closer to me. She then pulls my hand to her front and intertwined our fingers. I bury my face in her hair and inhale deeply as if her scent gives me life. We're spooning, this feels pristine and it's amazing. She stopped crying and her breathing is starting to even out. I think she's falling asleep.

_"Sleep Pipes, we'll talk tomorrow."_

_"Thanks, Al." _She's calm now and I know she's drifting into a deep slumber.

_"I never regretted kissing you." _She admitted. Just like that. After all this time she's finally bringing it up. I suddenly feel exhausted but contented.

_"I know." _I answer her not knowing if she can still hear me.

Of all the possibilities that could happen tonight, that I carefully calculated in my head earlier, this was never the end result I anticipated.

The universe is full of endless surprises.

* * *

I wake up with Piper still dead to the world beside me. I am never a morning person but I can't go back to sleep after realizing where I am.

I feel sore because I didn't move that much the whole night. I'm still in my original position but Piper is now facing me. Her left hand is wrapped around my torso and her face is buried at the crook of my neck. I can feel her soft warm breath against my skin. It's comforting how peaceful she is while dreaming but my bladder is not cooperating, I need to pee. I slowly release myself from the Koala and I went to the bathroom.

After relieving myself, I freshen up a little coz I look like shit. I am pondering about how to start my conversation with Piper. I don't want to think too much about what she said last night. She might not even remember what happened. So maybe the best thing to do is to ignore it and go on with our lives as usual.

I didn't realize that I was in the bathroom longer than I intended. When I return to Piper's room, she's no longer in her bed. The glass of water and ibuprofen on her night stand is gone so she might have already taken them. And this is what I'm expecting, after a baffling encounter and cuddling all night, Piper disappears on me. Proven and tested.

I decided to go home instead of waiting for her. It is still almost crack of dawn so I will be able to avoid bumping with any Chapman. On the other hand, I know my mom is always up early in the morning so I need to be stealthy as possible.

_"Where have you been?" _Damn it. I'm halfway up the stairs when I heard my mom. I face her and I answer. _"Sleep over at Piper's."_

_"Really?" _She asks skeptically.

_"Yep."_ I resume my walking and I hurriedly enter my room to avoid more questions.

_"Then why is she looking for you!" _My mom shouted as I close my door. Im about to ask what my mom what she means when I see a figure in front of me. In all her glory, Piper Chapman sitting on my bed.

_"How are you here?" _I ask her and confusion might be evident on my face.

_"Why are you not here?" _She answers my bemused question with the same dazed reaction. I'm tired of our guessing games.

_"You were not in your room when I came back from the bathroom. You're just...gone. So I decided to come home."_

_"Oh..."_ She looks surprised._ "I didn't check the bathroom."_

_"So you thought I left?"_ She nods.

_"That's why I'm here, I was looking for you and your mom let me in."_ Ok that explains it. So...what now? We better settle whatever it is that's going on between us because this is giving me anxiety. We are just looking at each other. I think both of us are waiting if who will talk first. Then she looks down and she stares at her hands as if it's interesting all of a sudden. This is my cue to end this awkward conversation. I'm about to lighten up the mood when she starts to talk.

_"You knew."_ I hope I was thinking what I thought she meant.

_"Yes."_

_"You knew I kissed you, and that I like you?" _She clarifies.

_"Yes to the kiss but not exactly sure about you liking me."_

_"I like you, Alex."_ She looks so vulnerable as she said it. She is now standing in front of me. I want to hug her so tight but what if I'll crush her into pieces? I know for myself, that I don't deserve her because I could break her.

_"I'm bad for you Piper."_ I feel unworthy and I hope she understands._ "I don't want to hurt you because if I do I will never be able to forgive myself." _I want to be honest to her too.

_"You can't protect me forever, Al. I know what I want and... I want you. You may think that I'm not old enough for you or whatever, but I can't hide what I feel anymore. And you know what, if our souls do mature, I'm sure we're at the same age right now, maybe we're like thirty-ish."_ I smile a little at that because it makes sense. I may treat her as if she's so fragile at times but I know Piper is an old soul.

_"I'm going to burst if I won't let it all out. It's better to get hurt knowing that I tried than giving up without a fight. And besides I think I could win this...I can feel that you like me too, Alex." _She looks shy but confident saying the last part.

This is like a dream come true. Now I know why she's upset about me reiterating our age gap. What she thought I think about her is absurd. I don't see her as a child, I just want to protect her. But hearing her say what she feels about me is like finishing an unsolved puzzle. I have to figure out my next move, balance the pros and cons because I don't want to hurt Piper.

After racking my brain, I narrowed it down to what I truly feel. Her happiness is what matters to me and she revealed that I can give it to her. I need to be with her and to be there for her to fulfill that. I don't know if what I'm about to do is the right thing but I have no choice, and I feel like it is long been predicated.

_"The universe is full of endless surprises." _I unconsciously whisper to myself.

_"What?"_

_"Nothing."_ I say while smirking.

_"I'm going to kiss you now." _I say as I start to get closer to her. I place my hand on her waist and the other one over her nape as I pull her near me. She looks nervous but resolved at the same time. I can feel both her hands on my back as she tip-toed to meet me halfway as I leaned in. Then I feel it, as soon as our lips collide, every nerve ending in my body awakens. This is the kind of kiss that inspires the stars to climb into the sky and light up the world.

I kiss her like how I wanted to be kissed. Soft, very soft, and it's like we are sharing one breath, one infinite and passionate moment. I love the way her lips brushed into mine delicately. The warmth of her skin, and the taste of her is driving me crazy.

I could do this all day.

She moves her hands from my back going on top of my shoulders and she continues to slide them up aiming at the back of my neck, then she intertwines her fingers like what she did the night we practiced dancing. I am aware of her every move. I can feel a shiver down my spine everytime she touch me.

We ended the kiss to catch our breaths. She's now holding my face and is looking at me intensely. She looks like she's about to cry again.

_"Please don't tell me you regretted this." _Worry is sketched in my face.

_"No! Don't you ever think that. I'm just.. happy..." _She says sincerely and I hear her sniffle a little._ "It was amazing." _She looks at me with a sweet smile. Making her smile like this is probably my life's goal now. I wipe the single tear sliding down her cheek. She looks so beautiful.

_"Is it everything you ever hoped it would be?"_ I teased her.

_"You exceeded my expectations, thank you very much." _We both laughs.

_"I like you too." _I tell her. That's the best description I can give to what I'm feeling at this moment. I can try and explain to her how I am deeply enchanted by her or to make her understand the way I admire her, that I almost feel like she's my Universe, but it's impossible right now and it may scare her away.

_"Kiss me again please." _She requests while beaming slightly. This sweetness will kill me.

_"Affirmative, Princess." _I playfully answer as I grant her wish.

I can definitely do this all day.

I never thought that my Sunday morning will turn out to be a making-out session with Piper. I don't mind though, because I can't get enough of her. She's like an oxygen and I'm dying to breathe.

_"You look so smug."_ She said after we break the kiss the second time.

_"You look happy."_ I reply.

_"I am..."_ She says sheepishly.

_"Get use to it, we'll be doing this a lot."_ She's now blushing.

_"Your lips are mine."_ I added and I'm right, she's now as red as a tomato. It's always been easy to get a reaction from Piper.

I'm about to kiss her again wen I hear my mom knocking._ "Al, breakfast is ready! Tell Piper to join us."_

_"Ok mom, be there in a sec!"_ I answer as I hear her walking away.

I started to walk aiming for the door._ "Let's go Pipes."_ I offer her my hand and she takes it.

_"Now look who's bossy."_

_"You ain't seen nothing yet." _I say suggestively as I raise my right eyebrow. We smiled at each other as we went down.

We had a silent agreement that we'll talk more about what just happened between us. I have a feeling that things are about to get more complicated. But who cares, I get to kiss Piper Chapman, so fuck all complications.

* * *

**Thank you for reading and sorry for the mistakes. I don't promote teenage drinking or any other negative connotation from this chapter.**

* * *

_"It's the kind of kiss that inspires stars to climb into the sky and light up the world."_

**-Tahereh Mafi. lcinite Me (Shatter Me, #3) **


	9. Your Universe

She uses a lot of hand gestures when she's explaining. She has a way of simplifying complicated things. Like how she made me understand the difference between latent heat and sensible heat, that I don't really care about, but I only asked because I love it when she gives tiny lectures, she is rarely talkative. She always calls me a nerd but she's not aware of being one.

_"Aesthetically pleasing, energy efficient and it's safer. There are a lot of advantages from it and people should consider utilizing it." _Alex is convincing me and her mom that induction cooker should be more widely used. I don't know how we landed on this topic but my mind is definitely somewhere else. I still can't get over the fact that we were just kissing mere minutes ago and now we're eating breakfast with her mom.

_"Yes, but not everyone can afford it." _Diane argues.

_"It's only expensive at first cost mom but you can save more money in the long run."_ I'm just watching them and not aware that I was smiling excessively.

_"Pipes, why are you smiling?"_ Alex is now talking to me.

_"What? It's normal to smile."_ I said while smirking as I look at her._ "I agree about the induction thing though."_ I added.

_"Alex! Did you let Piper do pot with you?! I told you not to try that again!"_ Diane reprimanded Alex with a slap on her arm.

_"Ouch mom! No I didn't! And Piper is not high!" _Alex says defensively while laughing. _"Also, that was only one time with Nicky, and it was with dad's supervision."_

_"Your dad let you smoke weed?!"_ I am so surprised about them smoking pot forgetting the fact that Diane thought I was high.

_"That's better than catching them do it in secret." _Wilson chimes in as he enters the room._ "And you can't try that again until it's legal for you." _He looks serious but with a hint of smile._"Yes Sir!"_ Alex answers with a salute. He then messes her hair. I love seeing how they interact. They have an extraordinary father and daughter relationship that sometimes I found myself longing for.

_"I should ground both of you for that." _Diane still sounds unimpressed.

_"You already did, Darling." _Wilson reminded her as he kisses Diane's temple. The gesture is so sweet and I can't stop but smile again. I love their family.

_"Stop smiling like that, you'll get me in trouble again." _Alex whispers to me. I can feel her breathe in my ear and her hand at the small part of my back. I shivered involuntarily.

_"Sorry." _That's the only word I can draw out of my current state. I was snapped out of my revery when I hear my phone ring. It is my mom and she's looking for me.

_"I need to go, Al. My mom wants me home."_ The smile is now wiped out of my face entirely. I want to stay longer with Alex. And we need to talk about what happened earlier.

_"Ok." _She said as she stands up. I follow her but I thank her parents before heading out.

_"I'll see you later?"_ I don't know how to say goodbye to her.

_"You better."_ She said while smirking. I smiled back. I think I'm blushing really hard, this is so embarrassing. I'm about to open the door when she grabbed my hand.

_"Wait." _She looks back towards their kitchen and when she's sure that no one is around she leaned in and gives me a single lip kiss._ "Now you can go." _She says after.

I am dumfounded and was only able to give her a toothy smile. I know I look like an idiot but who cares.

* * *

I arrived at our house and made my presence known to everyone. Thanks to Cal because he saved me by confirming that I did went home last night. I should really be thanking Alex about that though.

I'm now lying on my bed reminiscing the last 24 hours of my life. I can still feel a headache but I can't stop smiling like a crazy person. Alex likes me too and she kissed me! We kissed and I can't believe what just happened. It's like I'm floating.

_So, I'm gay now? But I don't feel attracted to other girls. I'm just gay for her? I am so confused but enlightened at the same time. Are we a couple now? Am I going to let someone know about this? Will Alex let anyone know about us? Do I need yo worry? What about my parents? Will they agree? What will Polly say? Oh my God, what am I going to do about Mark?!_

_Damn it._

I was startled by a message from Alex. Her intuition is still on point. I don't know how she do it.

_Don't stress yourself too much, Pipes._

_I miss you already, Al._

_There is a fine line between being sweet and clingy. You're almost at the other side._

_You don't like the clingy version of me?_

_I'm stating a fact but I never said I don't like it. ;)_ I can imagine ger smirking at her phone.

_I need to end things with Mark._ I almost regretted sending it but this needs to be addressed.

_That is up to you Piper._

Isn't_ that what you want?_ I can't let my eyes leave the screen while waiting for Alex's reply.

_I want you to be happy. So do what makes you happy._ Her replly literally makes my heart skip a beat, she makes me happy. I may have already told her about my feelings but I want to show it to her by doing the right thing.

* * *

I wanted to keep a positive vibe today as I already had a good start this morning, but things are going in the wrong direction.

I have tons of homework to finish, I'm still sleep deprived, my dad is still upset that I came home late last night, I'm avoiding Polly's calls and messages, I haven't talked to Mark since he won't pick up my calls and I keep checking on my phone hoping to get a message or call from Alex. I'm deciding between waiting and to be the one to make the first move. I miss her and it's driving me nuts. I'm the perfect definition of a love sick puppy. She's probably right about me being too attached

I still can't believe that she likes me! How can she like me? I'm nothing compared to the girls I have seen her with. What if she's just being nice? What if she only told me she likes me too because I confessed about my feelings? What if I'm just another girl to her? I'm going insane! I'm stuck in this loop in my brain instead of studying.

I need a break and besides, there is no progress in doing my homework since I can't stop thinking about how I'm being pity liked by Alex.

It's almost 7pm and I'm craving for some snack so I decided to grab something out of our pantry. Before I reach the kitchen I passed by Cal's room and I can hear that someone is with him. Curiosity won me over so I listen to their conversation and I hear the voice I was longing for all day.

_"Alex!"_ I invited myself into Cal's room. "You're here."

_"She's mine tonight, Sis. Why are you even here?"_

_"Why didn't you let me know you're coming over?"_ I say to Alex._ "I'm going to grab a snack when I heard you two talking."_

_"Sorry I wasn't able to call or text, we decided to play after doing Cal's papers."_ She looks apologetic. _"I'm planning to stop by your room before I go home though." _She gives out a smile and I think I'm blushing again.

_"Sorry that you have to do this because of me."_

_"Are you kidding? We're having fun!"_ Cal protested.

_"We are actually." _Alex is now laughing. _"And we won!" She declared. "Nice one Cal, you'll level up in no time."_

_"Thanks! Let's do this again some time, without any disturbance hopefully." _He says while eyeing me. I give him an eyeroll as I went out of his room with Alex right behind me. She is following me as I lead us to my room.

_"I thought you're having a snack?"_

_"I am." _I said before I tip toed to reach her lips. I don't know where my confidence came from but I don't care anymore.

My bold move might have surprised her because she was still for a second but did kiss me back eventually. I can feel that my knees turn to water and she's smiling in between our kisses.

_"Aggressive much." _She chuckles.

_"I missed you."_ I wrap my arms around her and I released a sigh. Being this close to her feels so good.

_"I missed you too. And sorry I was too busy today. I have back-to-back exams tomorrow." _I can feel that she tightened her hold on me. She might have been stressed out too.

_"You know, in Cambridge University, there was a time that those students with the lowest honors in exams were presented with a wooden spoon, while those with higher ones got a silver or golden one." _She chuckles loudly this time. _"I know you'll be getting a golden spoon tomorrow."_ I say as I look deeply in her green eyes. They were the green that brings the earth back to life after an unforgiving cold.

_"Thanks, Pipes."_ She looks sincere. I know she hates it when I give her compliments but I always try to do it subtly coz she deserves it, she's the smartest person I know.

_"Both of my brothers are really fond of you."_ I shifted to a different topic to avoid making her uncomfortable.

_"Don't get jealous, no one gets to kiss me but you." _Still cocky.

_"Funny."_ I acted nonchalant but what she just said is what I really want to hear right now. This could be the right time to open up a conversation about what's troubling me but I don't know how to begin. _How can I tell her that I doubt her feelings for me? _This is stupid.

_"What's wrong, Pipes?" _I am beginning to believe that she can read my mind.

_"Nothing." _I said as I hug her again. _"I can't believe I can do this now." _

_"Me too. I have been admiring you from afar for so long. It's sureal to finally do it up close." _She pulls back from our embrace slowly and smiles at me sweetly as she tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. _"You're very pretty, Pipes." _My heart melted.

_"I feel like I don't deserve you." I said honestly._

_"Stop saying that."_

_"What made you like me?"_

_"If only I could let you peak inside my head..."_

_"Oh god I would give anything to do that."_ I cut her in. She chuckles.

_"It would be a relief to just let you see my brain and you'll know that it's mostly occupied by you." _She reaches for my hand and she holds it. _"Stop worrying too much. We'll take it slow and figure out stuff along the way."_

_"Ok." _I'm appeased by her words. I don't know how she does that. She may think that I'm her universe but it's the other way around. I think I'm the lucky one.

* * *

After Alex went home, I was able to be more productive and was finally ready to go to bed. I grab my phone and was about to send out a goodnight message when someone knocked on my door.

_"Piper, can I talk to you for a second?"_ It is my dad and I let him in. What could be so urgent to talk about at this time of the night?

* * *

**Sorry for a late update, been very busy. Again sorry for the mistakes and thank you for reading.**


	10. The Kraken

This day is uneventful for me. I'm done with all my exams and we just finished playing basketball. We are inside the gym lockers that smells like new paint and sweat. Everyone is still hyped up about who won.

_"That was an awesome game! Alex, you scored more than half, how are you still walking?" _Janae asks me.

_"She's inspired today." _Nicky says with a sly smile. I only gave them a half shrug as a reaction.

I feel tired now without the adrenaline rush. I have accomplished a lot of things today but it's like something is missing. I am looking forward to seeing Piper. I'm excited to ask her about her day. Fuck, she is making me soft. I chastised myself internally.

I needed a shower but I would probably just do it at home. I packed all my things and I'm ready to leave when I hear students cheering and whilsling at someone.

_"Vause, blondie here is looking for you."_ Someone announces. I feel thrilled and my breath quickens. I didn't expect Piper to come here. I turn around to meet her but my shoulders sagged when I realize it's not her.

_"You don't have time to call me but you can find time to fuck Michelle?!"_ Stephanie is trying to hand me a folded piece of pink paper. We are now the center of attention. I hate this.

_"What Michelle?" _I'm trying to be emotionless as I said it. She is making a scene and a lot of people is listening and I want to end this conversation as soon as possible. I stretch casually, showing that I'm uninterested, then I sit down. _"What's this?" _I reach for the paper and read what's written in it. I'm in no luck today.

_"Someone left that on your locker." _She looks proud as if she solved a mistery. _"You might not remember her but she definitely won't forget 'the good time' she had with you. She even gave you her number!"_

_"I don't know what you're talking about and stop snooping around my locker."_ I want her to leave me alone. Yes she was a good company. I enjoyed being with her but I cannot give her what she wants from me.

_"You can't do this all the time and expect me to believe your lies!"_ She is really testing my patience.

_"Alex, Pi-" _I think someone is trying to talk to me but I've reached my limit.

_"I can do whatever I want, and fuck whoever I want."_ I half shouted at her. I want her to stop acting like my girlfriend.

_"Hey Alex." _I look at Nicky. She's the one who's about to say something earlier but I cutted her off. She gestures for me to look at the door so I follow her line of sight.

It's Piper. She looks terrified. I can see her hands tightened into fists while looking at me then she turns away. I panicked the moment I realize what is happening. No.

_"Piper!" _I try to call out for her. I grab all my things then I ran as fast as I can to reach her. I hear Stephanie calling for me but I ignore her and I double my speed instead. I think I'm gonna get a heart attack. I remember that Piper is a runner too so I need maximum effort. I can see her heading to the parking lot.

_"Piper, stop!"_ She looks at me. I'm only a couple of yards away from her now. God her eyes, I can't imagine the melancholy they projected, she's obviously crying. It's almost unbearable to see her hurting. I need to make this right. I'm about to inch forward but she suddenly went inside a car. It's Paul driving, Polly's boyfriend, and fucking Mark is with them. Great, this is going so well.

I'm about to stop them but they drive away so fast. I was left in the parking lot still panting with exhaustion. My head is pounding. Then it started to rain.

_What a fucking cliché._

* * *

After arriving home, I had a quick shower since I'm shivering regardless of the hot water. I feel cold.

I left a couple of messages for Piper, asking her to let me explain. I don't want to do it over voicemail. But she never responded.

I waited.

Hours have passed, it's starting to get dark, but still nothing. I wonder if she's home. I need to make sure she's okay. I attempted to call her brothers too, desperate times, but they won't pick up. This is torture. I need to see her now.

I went out and sneakily get into their property. This is trespassing and people might think that I'm a burglar. Piper's room is located on the second floor but I can easily climb up to reach her window. My height is an advantage with this dire situation, thank God. My muscles though, they are screaming for help. It hurts a little whenever I move, this could be from all the running I did earlier. Not to mention the draining mental exercises I had.

I almost fall multiple times as I hoist myself up without the aid of a rope. I'm so glad her window is unlocked and half opened. I enter. I look around but she's not here. My heart sinks. Where is she?

I am thinking of what to do next. Am I going to wait for her? What if she's not coming home tonight? I am stopped from my indecisive thoughts when the door handle moves. Someone is coming. Fuck. I look for a hiding place but the door is already opening.

It's Piper.

_"Alex!" _She's wearing her pajamas and her hair is in a ponytail. She looks so cute. I notice that she's holding a mug and I can smell hot chocolate. When our gaze met, her eyes are puffy probably from crying and I hate myself even more.

_"What are you doing here? How did you? Wha-"_

_"I let myself in, using your window, for a change."_ Stupid answer.

_"Go away." _Hearing her say that trumps all the physical pain I'm feeling right now.

_"Please listen to me." _I pleaded. She put her mug on top of her night stand and she sits on her bed facing me as I stand at the middle of her room. It's a sign that she's ready to listen but I feel like a criminal being sentenced to die.

_"It's not what you think." _I started.

_"What do I think? Do you know what's going on in my head?"_

I want to say yes, and tell her that I can read her like a book but I will certainly lose more points for that so I need to settle with an acceptable answer. _"Not exactly..." _Damn, this is harder than I thought.

_"Maybe I should ask the same thing right? Who the fuck is Michelle?"_ Oh, so she heard that and wow, she rarely curses, this confirms that she's definitely angry and jealous. I may have released the Kraken. I find it entertaining but my life is in danger right now so I need to focus.

_"I never had a girlfriend." _I release a deep sigh._ "Stephanie wanted to be, for a long time now, but I never want it with her."_ I watch her carefully and I'm trying to interpret her reaction. She's listening and she looks more calm now.

_"What you heard earlier, I only said it to make her stop from her unreasonable insecurity. And frankly, I can't remember any Michelle, I might have met her at some party before, but believe me, I've never been with anyone since we..-"_

_"I don't want to be just another girl to you."_

_"You're not, Pipes." _I step closer. _"To be honest, I never wanted to commit myself to anyone before because...I was waiting for you." _I'm tired. I feel like I'm gonna pass out but seeing her with a hint of smile gave me enough strength to keep standing.

_"Thinking of you with someone else drives me mad, and I hate feeling jealous!" _She sounds frustrated.

_"I'm all yours, I promise."_ _Please believe me._ She smiles but she just looks at me for a second.

_"Come here."_ She finally says while releasing a deep breath. I also give out a sigh of relief. _"I'm sorry I freaked out and run."_ She's sniffling.

_"I expected you to run for the hills right after our first kiss, but you didn't, so I thanked whatever deity there is because you stayed."_ She grabs my hand and pulls me for a very tight hug._ "I'm sorry for causing you pain, Pipes." _I took the opportunity to express what I feel.

_"Al, you're hot."_

_"I know babe, you said it before." _I say with a chuckle.

_"No! you're hot, hot!"_ She's assessing my temperature. Her palms are all over my face and neck._ "Alex you have a fever, you're burning." _Oh, that explains the dizziness and fatigue I have been feeling for hours now.

_"It could have been the rain, my clothes were soaked earlier. But don't worry I'll be ok."_ I want to reassure her.

_"I can't imagine you climbing up my window with this state, you should lie down."_ She sounds guilty.

_"It's okay. I'm just gonna sleep this over. I should probably go."_ I attempting to stand so that I can make her believe that I'm okay and she doesn't need to worry, but she won't let go of my hand.

_"No! Stay, damn it." _She's pissed now._ "Stop being so stubborn, Al."_ I raise both of my hands in surrender.

_"Ok, I'm sorry."_ I don't want to get scolded like a child. It's entertaining to see her lose her temper but I don't have the energy to face that version of her right now.

_"Lie down, I'm just gonna go get you some medicine."_ I follow her command without a question. And I'm glad that I did. It feels so good to rest my body on her bed. I feel like I could fall asleep at any moment now.

_"Here, take this." _I swallow whatever it is that she gave me. _"You should take a lot of fluids." _She gives me more water, and again I'm just following her every command.

_"I'm gonna go and make you a soup."_

_"You don't have to Pipes, I'm not hungry and..-" _I stop talking the moment I notice the way she's looking at me. The perfect definition of 'looks that could kill'. _"Ok, please make me a soup."_ I said with an exaggerated smile while nodding.

_"Good. Try to get some sleep. I'll wake you up later." _She's more relaxed now. She helps me get back to my lying position. She hover over me for a while then she presses her lips against mine. I tasted chocolate from her.

_"Why are you kissing me, I'm contagious." _I can't help but grin at her.

_"I'm immuned. Stop complaining."_

_"I heart you." _She giggles. I love that sound. Then she kisses me again.

_"I heart you too, babe." _She said. My heart is pounding so loud I think she can even hear it. She stands and headed for the door. I close my eyes while smiling widely.

Today turned out to be the day where I've seen a lot of different emotions coming from Piper Chapman. It was frightening but I also see it as a privilege to get to know all sides of her and this would prepare me to face every version of her in the future. But she can turn into a beast and I will still love her.

Love... is this what I'm feeling for her?

That question played over and over in my head until I drift off to sleep.

* * *

**Sorry for another corny chapter. I ****hope I can fast forward soon. You guys must be sick of teenage sappiness.**

**Thanks**** for reading and sorry for the mistakes. **


	11. Disoriented Orientation

Spring is evidently coming to an end because the temperature is now rising. It's still chilly at night though and this could be the reason why the car windows are now fogged up inside or it could be just because of our heavy breathing.

I gasp subtly when I feel her hands on my thighs. She squishes them so gently and this is bad, because what she's doing is making me want to ask for more. There's no space between us but I still crave for connection. We are literally sharing one breath. If someone could see us, they might think that we are trying to devour each other. Good thing that the steam is hiding us from the world.

I welcome her wondering tongue inside my mouth. She is usually always delicate and careful with her actions but right now, I can feel that she's claiming me. This is her way of saying that I belong to her. She somehow makes me lose my sanity, because my mind is going blank and all I can feel is her.

Her soft hands are now inside my shirt and she rests them on my waist. She radiants warmth and her touch sends sensation that only my body could understand. It's an enigma how she can always elicit extreme reactions from my body, or I think, from my whole being.

She bit my lip and pulled away. She's now staring at me and amusement is dancing in her eyes. _"You're so beautiful, Pipes"._ She half whispers to me. My heartbeat quickened rapidly upon hearing her say that. I don't really see myself as beautiful, most of the time, but she never fails to remind me that I am to her. _"You too..."_ I answer and she chuckles. I know she prefers the word hot but I want her to realize how gorgeous she is. I lean in to resume our kissing. I also want to touch her but my movements are restrained by her strong exploring hands, as always. She's dominant, and I let her, because I like it. Also, it's as if my brain freezes everytime our skins meet.

She's now trailing kisses along my jawline down to my neck while she's caressing my back with her hands that are still under my shirt. Her right hand slowly wonder off to my stomach then it went up and up and...I stiffen._"I'm sorry..." _She withdrew herself from me the moment she feels that my body became rigid. She may think that I don't like it but I am only shocked because it's the first time she attempted to touch me that way, and I want it. "It's alright, Al." I try to imply that she can continue but she suggested that we should get going instead. I have been straddling her at the back of her car in an almost empty parking lot for about 30 minutes now. Her legs may already been hurting too like what I feel with mine, that doesn't really matter minutes ago.

_"Do we really need to go now?" _I sound a little bit whinny because I want to prolong our evening. This is our first formal date ever, even if we are going out for a while now. We are celebrating my birthday and for Alex after passing all her AP exams. With her results and current academic standing, it would be easy for her to be admitted into any prestigious University, at any of the Ivy league even. But thinking about her going to college gives me mixed emotions.

_"It's getting late, we don't want to enrage Bill."_ She jokes. I look away and didn't answer but I can feel her intense gaze. I hope she won't notice my anxiety or weird reactions whenever we talk about my dad._ "What's wrong, babe?" _I know she worries.

_"I'm just thinking how wonderful tonight is. Thanks again, Al."_ I want her to know that I appreciate all her efforts in planning our evening. I'm sure she spent some of her savings to get us to that fancy restaurant. Alex always have an elegant taste. I insisted on paying too but she wouldn't let me.

_"If you consider 'making out at a parking lot outside the movie theater' as wonderful, then we are at the same page." _I giggle at her wit. _"And you are very much welcome."_ She says. I give her a tender kiss on her cheek. Watching a classical movie after our dinner is a part of our itinerary that led us here right now.

_"How did you know about that restaurant?"_ I ask because I'm really curious. Alex is now driving us back home.

_"Dad always bring my mom there and he might have given me some pointers about women, not that I need it though."_ She grins smugly.

_"Yeah, we can just eat pizza inside your car or sit down at the park with home made sandwiches as our dinner, and I will still consider it as a wonderful date."_ I admit to her shamelessly.

_"Funny that you said that." _Alex stops the car. I notice that we're not home yet, instead we are at the lake near our neighborhood. She went out and opens the car door for me. We walk hand in hand and sit down at the nearest bench.

_"This is where we had our first date."_ She says sheepishly. I look around and I realize that she's right. We're at the lake where Alex invited me in when my family moved here. This is where we had our sandwiches and cookies together. Our first date ever! I'm in shock reminiscing how long it has been. I'm also blushing really hard and I feel like I'm gonna cry. I know she will never admit this, but she's very sweet regardless of her badass persona.

_"This is perfect." _I sniffle. She is really touching my soul.

_"A whiff of a freshly baked cookies always reminds me about this day." _She says while smirking.

_"That is because of our hippocampus, the part of our brain that is largely responsible for the formation of new memories, it directly interacts with our sense of smell." _I really just can't shut up sometimes.

_"Oh, I see. Nerd." _She teases._ "You should know what I recall when I smell strawberries." _She says suggestively.

_"I may have a dorky crush on you when we were little." _I admit to her.

_"Well, that explains all the multiple heavy blushing I witnessed over the years." _She laughs. To be honest, I still have a huge crush on her._ "Thanks for bringing me here, babe."_ I hug her.

_"This is for you." _She's holding something in her hand._ "Turn around, I want you to wear this." _I obey realizing that she is giving me a necklace.

_"Al, this is beautiful. So many surprises!" _It's her turn to hug me from behind, wrapping her arms around my waist and she rests her chin on my shoulder. I am holding the pendant as we both look at it. It's a gem of some kind with heirloom-quality and it is enthralling. She definitely knows her way with jewelries. I am so mesmerized by it that I have forgotten that we're in a public place.

_"They reminded me of your eyes." _Oh right, it's Sapphire.

_"I can't thank you enough." _I turn to her and I capture her lips. I lower my guard for a while because I want to convey how grateful I am. How can I top this gift, I have to start thinking hard.

I immediately put a distance between us when I realize that we're out in the open and there are people near by. If someone would see us, we will be in so much trouble. _"You're welcome kid, I'm glad you like it." _She gives out a warm smile. I know Alex gets it that I'm jumpy whenever we're around people. We still keep what we have between us a secret.

* * *

_"Were you with Alex?"_

_"Dad! You scared me!" _I am startled after closing the door not expecting that someone is waiting for me in our living room.

_"I'm on time, curfew is not in another 30 mins."_ I ignore his inquiry.

_"Remember what I told you about her?" _Here we go again, I know we are having another talk about who should I hangout with, just like the first time he warned me.

I still can recall when he asked me about it. He specifically told me that being friends with Alex is not a good idea. I tried to reason out and told him it's wrong not to be friends with someone just because you don't agree of who they are. And I wish I can tell him that I very much like Alex's preferences! I went to bed frustrated that night.

_"She's my friend since like forever, I can't just stop seeing her."_

_"I know, but try to go out with your other friends too. Like Polly? I haven't seen her in a while."_

_"Dad stop, this is ridiculous. What are you so afraid about? That I become gay?"_

_"You should know that you have disrespected me just by saying that." _I know I have pushed the wrong button. _"All I'm asking is for you to not spend all of your time with her."_

_"Ok." _I'm now staring at my feet. I am furious and I'm done with this conversation.

_"Life is hard as it is Piper, don't do something that will make it even more harder."_

I don't know if he's giving me a warning or a threat. I headed to my room not wanting to hear anymore of what he's saying. This is becoming very stressful. I know that he only wants what's best for me but how can I explain to my father that it is impossible to avoid Alex. If only he can feel how she makes me feel then he would understand that what he wants can't be done.

I haven't told Alex about what's going on. I don't want to burden her with my parents' obsession of having perfect appearances. Sometimes it's becoming very hard to hide my worries from her. I am beginning to get frustrated of not being able to be free in showing the world who I am. I envy Alex, of how she can be who she wants to be and to not give a damn of what people think or say about her. I wish we can be like that together.

* * *

Alex promised me a tour to their office at her part time job which I am very excited about. She rarely works on Saturdays so today is a perfect time for me to see what she actually do. I always want to know what exactly her job is. She said something about making structural plans, electrical and mechanical designs but I really have no idea.

I went shopping with Polly earlier this morning so the plan is to meet up with Alex to one of the coffee shops near their building. We'll be having lunch together before she brings me to their office.

I am just sitting while scrolling on my phone when someone sits across the table I'm in. I look up hoping it's Alex but it was someone I have been avoiding for a long time now. I'm about to stand up and leave but I hear my name.

_"Piper, wait."_

_"No insults this time?"_

_"I'm sorry."_ Well, this is new.

_"I know I hurt you. What I said before, I didn't mean it. I only said it because I'm angry."_ He sounds sincere.

_"It's ok Mark. I'm sorry too. I think I deserve a little bit of that anger. I wasn't always honest with you."_

_"Yeah, but you don't deserve to be humiliated in front of our friends like that. I feel sick of myself after I said those things to you. I'm sorry for being a jerk. I deserve to get dumped."_

_"We both know that we really don't like each other that much." _I smile and surprisingly he did too.

_"I kind of regretted not showing you enough how much I like you though, and..I still do you know."_

_"Mark, I ca..."_

_"Are you two together now?"_

_"What... who?" _I stutter.

_"Alex. I know you left me for her."_

_"I left because I wasn't happy with you."_

_"Does she makes you happy?" _He's waiting for my answer. But I don't know what to say. I'm stunned. How can he know about me and Alex?!

_"Don't worry I won't tell anyone. And I figured it out myself, no one told me." _I'm still dumbfounded.

_"She's inlove with you."_

_"I don't know what you're talking about." _I try to sound nonchalant.

_"It's ok Piper. Just remember, if it won't work out between you two, I will still be here." _Wow, just wow.

_"I have to go. My mom is waiting for her coffee."_

_"Ok, see you around." _He then gives me a quick hug. He seems to be a nicer guy now than before. It made me smile a little. I wave at him as he went out the door, then I see her. The smile on my face went even wider. She looks so serious as she walks near me.

_"What took you so long?" _I kiss her left cheek. Sometimes I forget that there are other people in this world. When we're together, my entire focus shifts to her and everything else doesn't matter.

_"I waited for your date to leave."_ She sounds sarcastic but I feel like she's annoyed of something.

_"I don't know who you're referring to because my date just arrived." _Now there's a little hint of smile on her face.

_"What did he want?"_

_"He apologized about how he acted after our break up. We're good now though."_

_"So good that you even hugged."_

_"Are you jealous, Al?"_

_"Fucking no. I want Thai food." _She then grabs my hand leading the way to where she wants to eat. I want to tease her but she keeps on talking about her day and about how we're gonna spend our time together even if she's working. It's amusing to know that she can get jealous. She's always so sure of herself that's why this is new to me.

_It's fascinating to know how Alex feels about me. Is she nervous around me? Does she ever get excited to see me? Am I in her dreams? Am I her first thought in the morning and her last at night? Is she smiling unintentionally just because she remembers about our first kiss? Is she keeping one of my t-shirts so that she can feel closer to me? Or all of this is just me?!_

I think I'm falling, fast and hard. There is no way of stopping this.

* * *

**I'm really sorry for the long absence. I promise I will finish this story. Please bear with my imperfect writing. English is tough. **


	12. Girlfriends

I like the way she scrunch up her nose when she's laughing. She laughs so hard sometimes she even makes little snorting sounds, which I find really funny and adorable. But right now, she looks like the opposite. Her eyebrows are furrowed and you can't see any single hint of smile on her face. I still find her cute though. She's thinking hard and damn she looks hot when she's serious. The bad thing is, her efforts are wasted. There are only few more moves left before it's over.

She finally took her king one square forward, as I predicted. _"Are you sure about that, Pipes?"_

_"Hmm."_

_"You can still change that move if you want."_ I suggest. A hopeless attempt to drag this game out a little longer.

_"Don't patronize me, Al."_ She says with a serious tone. It almost made me smile because it's obvious, I'm getting on her nerves. My amusingly short tempered Piper is resurfacing again, it's been a while. I want to tease her more, but this could end badly.

_"Ok, check mate." _I announce as I capture her queen.

_"Ugh! Why can't I ever beat you in chess?!"_ Her frustration is evident.

_"That's ok, babe. You can beat me at almost every sport we know, so this is only fair."_

_"Except basketball. I hate dribbling."_

_"It's entertaining to see you dribble."_

_"Now you're just making fun of me."_

_"I can't help it."_ I stand up while smiling at her, and she smiles back. When I see her like this, it's one of those moments where I still can't believe that we're together. This feels so good. I know it's naive of me to think this way, but I really hope nothing changes.

_"I thought Nicky will come?" _Her question breaks me out of my thoughts.

_"I'll check on her."_ I say while I stretching, I feel sore from sitting down on the floor of our tree house. We decided to spend our Sunday afternoon here. I invited Nicky but she's running late. I am about to pick up my phone when I see her.

_"Hello love birds!"_ Nicky greets as she enters.

_"You're late Nicky." _Piper confronts her.

_"I know, but Vause here requested for snacks, you know just like you, I can't say no to her." _Nicky says with a wink. Piper blushes.

_"Did you get me a large coke?"_ I ask, ignoring Nicky's teasing.

_"Al, I told you to stay away from too much soda, that's basically just sugar mixed with water." _Piper reminds me.

_"Oh, right...but can I just have at least half of it please?"_

_"Ok, just make sure to drink plenty of water after." _Piper agrees and I notice Nicky is silently looking at us in amusement. I can almost read her mind.

_"Whipped."_ Nicky started laughing.

_"Shut up." _I say casually. Then we both laugh and it's Piper's turn to look at us in confusion. I miss this. Three of us hanging out just like we used to. I feel like we did grow up so fast, and we forgot about this place. Things are so different yet it still feels the same.

_"This place looks smaller than what I remembered. Maybe I'm a little taller now after all."_ Nicky says while browsing our worn out board games and cards.

_"It's small but very sturdy. This will last long and can still be used by our future kids." _Piper answers mindlessly. I was shocked with her comment about kids and I know Nicky is thinking the same thing as she exaggeratedly enunciated the word wow to me silently.

Piper notices our awkward silence so she tries to explain herself._ "Kids, i mean if there will be future kids, or other people's kids play...together...here. Like children, in general..."_

_"Do I have to leave you guys alone to decide on how many children you'll have?" _Nicky is holding her laughter now.

_"I'm not saying I want kids! I mean I might, but we're not..."_ Piper starts to ramble again.

_"You're right Pipes, any kid would love our tree house." _I try to help her out.

_"If you'll be having a girl, name her after me - ouch!" _Nicky still wants to tease but I elbowed her subtly._ "I mean yeah, this tree house is fantastic." _She continues but still couldn't avoid to laugh. I move and sit beside Piper. I take her hand and intertwined it with mine. I want to reassure her that I get what she means. She smiles at me._ Suddenly I thought, what kind of life do I really want with her in the future? Will I be able to give her all the things that she will need?_

This is scary.

* * *

It is nice to see a more carefree Piper. It took her some time getting used of showing affection towards me when we're with other people. She even scolded me one time when I tried to kiss in front of Nicky. I understand her though. That's why I am careful with my actions when we're together in public. I don't want to put pressure on her.

In contratry with her worries, I think a lot of people may already know that we're dating. Both of her brothers obviously approves, my dad probably knows, I think my mom won't mind actually, our friends at school suspects, but Piper's parents? My gut tells me that they will kill us if they'll find out.

Bill is somewhat old fashioned. He's a good guy, I can't argue with that, but he certainly will do everything to protect the image of his family, especially her daughter. Carol is always supportive of her husband, and I know she never liked me that much. Piper may think that I don't notice her family's reception of me, but I do. You can definitely feel when someone likes you or not.

I have played multiple scenarios in my head of what will happen if we tell them about us and my mind always takes me to a war between two kingdoms and I'm saving Piper, the princess. I should stop reading medieval themed fantasy books but we're currently rewatching the Lord of the Rings trilogy right now and it's feeding my imagination more.

_"Don't you think when Gandalf told them to fly, before he was dragged down by the Balrog, he meant was for them to use the eagles?" _Nicky asks.

_"I think Gandalf want to tell them that they should flee. And you can't just summon the eagles. I read that their appearance is by happenstance or grace." _I answer.

_"Didn't the brown wizard called for them too? What's his name? Rade...? Radagrest?" _Piper interjected.

_"Radagast", _I answer. Nicky and I both look at her in amazement. She rarely comments on our nerdy arguments. This is surprising.

_"He kinda did, this was when Gandalf asked him to summon every bird and beast to join in the battle for the Lonely Mountain, from The Hobbit, and I guess the eagles decided to join at that time, on their own free will of course since you can't order them around." _I clarify.

_"Those big birds could have just flown over Mordor and drop the ring."_ Nicky argues.

_"Not that again Nicky, you know why they can't do that."_

_"Yeah but, it could have been faster for them to deliver if they were flying."_

_"Our dinner will be served faster if I will help Diane."_ Piper says. _"I'll be right back." _She kisses my left cheek. She stands up gracefully. She's wearing an off-shoulder dress with floral designs. It has those small intricate flowers printed on it. Her collar bones are very prominent, it looks sexy. She never fails to take my breath away. I follow her with my eyes until she disappears by the corner going to our kitchen.

_"You can blink Vause, she's not going anywhere."_

_"I know."_

_"How does it feel to be with the real one?" _

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I mean, you have been fooling yourself of wanting other people and eating fake blondes for a long time, you seemed fine, so...how does it compare with Piper, the original?"_

_"I don't know yet." _I say to her honestly and I know she will give me tons of shit about this

_"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" _She whisper shouted with a grin on her face. _"What are you, a saint? Oh my god! This is hilarious."_

_"I can wait man, it's not that big of a deal. Besides, I'm actually enjoying it."_ I say proudly because I really am.

_"Damn! You've got some serious self restrain there kid. Is she afraid or something?"_

_"I just..I don't know, I don't want to rush things." _Now that I think about it, maybe the problem is me.

_"I think you're the one who's afraid, man."_ Nicky knows me. Honestly, I'm really scared that if we have sex, things will change. That my feelings will change. Before, with other girls, after doing it with them, I lose interest. I still don't trust myself and I can't do that to her. I'm afraid that I'm gonna hurt Piper.

_"Dinner is ready!"_ Piper announces. She looks so happy, and I want to keep it that way. It's not fair to put my needs and urges above her feelings.

_But damn those shoulders._

* * *

Nicky went home and my parents were out. It's just me and Piper cleaning after dinner. We are just discussing about my University choices.

_"I have narrowed down my options."_

_"Is there an option where you don't leave?"_ I stop whatever it is I'm doing and I look at her. _"I'm sorry." _She says with a sad smile. We haven't talked about what will happen to us when I go. It would definitely suck to be separated but this is reality.

_"I know this is kinda sad, but we know this is going to happen, Pipes."_

_"Kinda sad?" _She sounds indignant. Wrong choice of words on my part.

_"It's devastating, Al. Well, at least for me." _Now she looks sad. I hate this. I step closer to her and I hold her hands. She's avoiding my gaze. _"Babe." _I want her to look at me.

_"This is hard for me as it is for you. That's why we need to talk about this. I need you to help me decide where to go."_

_"I didn't know that my opinion counts."_

_"Of course it does, you're my girlfriend."_

_"Girlfriend?" _She looks surprised.

_"Yes, girlfriend. You don't like it?"_

_"No! Yes! I like it. I mean, it's just that...you never asked."_

_"Alright__ then. Piper, will you be my girlfriend?"_

_"Absolutely yes!" _I pulled her to me and I kiss her. She then jumps up wrapping her legs around my waist almost like an instinct. I move my hands to her butt for support. She giggles.

We continued kissing. I kiss her hard. I carry her to the counter top so she can sit on it. Fuck my worries. All I can think of right now is how soft she is. She smells so good, taste so good. I think I'm wrong, my feelings for her won't ever fade. It will only become stronger, I can't get enough of her. I want more of her.

My hands are starting to explore when I hear someone clearing their throat. We break the kiss and we look at the kitchen entrance, it's my mom and dad watching us. My dad is smiling, but mom looks disappointed.

_"Fuck."_

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


	13. Frenzied

_"Really Alex? What do you think you're doing? Do you have any idea how many parents tried to talk to me because you broke up with their daughter? And now Piper?"_

_"Oh! I remember that one time when we're at the supermarket! That was so awkward." _My Dad added.

_"You're not helping."_ My mom scolds him.

_"Alex, are you listening?"_

_"Yes, mom." _I answer avoiding to sound disrespectful. I'm now sitting on the couch in our living room while both of my parents are standing in front of me. We are like in a meeting discussing my life choices. Piper is long gone. She hurriedly excused herself wearing a very red face saying that she needs to be home quickly because her parents are looking for her, which is a lie of course. We didn't even had the chance to say goodbye.

_"And how long has this been going on?"_

_"More than a year."_ I confirmed.

_"Do you know anything about this?" _The question is directed to my dad.

_"It was fairly obvious to me?"_

_"So you knew and you didn't even say a word?!"_

_"Honey it's no big deal. They grew up together and-"_

_"No big deal? What will Bill and Carol say? She's only fifteen!"_

_"They'll understand, Alex is good for her. Let the kids be happy."_

_"No one will be happy if they will find out. We even let Piper sleep here!"_

_"Come on now, Alex can't get her pregnant."_

_"Oh my god stop! Please stop."_ I had enough. They are talking like I'm not in here and this is crazy. This could have been hilarious if I'm not the subject of this argument.

_"Mom, I'm not going to hurt Piper."_

_"How sure are you? __She look up to you baby. She thinks you're the greatest human being in this entire world. One mistake could crush that girl's heart." _My mom is probably right. But they need to understand. They may think we're just kids but we really do care about each other.

_"I'll try my best not to do that. I really like her mom. Can you please trust me on this?"_ I look at her as I said it and I can see that her expression softened. She then sits beside me.

_"I trust you, it's other people that I don't trust. I know you will not hurt her intentionally, but something may happen eventually at some point, and it could hurt the both of you. And I don't want them judging you for it."_

_"I don't care of what they will say about me mom, I only care about her."_

_"I know baby, that's why I'm scared for you."_ I get what mom is trying to say. She just wants to protect us. She knows Piper's parents well enough more than anyone.

_"Still, I cannot condone this, her parents need to know." _She demanded.

_"We will let them know, we're just waiting for the right time."_ I explain to them.

_"Better be ready then, we'll be having a dinner at the Chapman's tomorrow." _My mom says.

_Crap!_

* * *

I'm now contemplating alone inside my room. I'm thinking about what my parents told me earlier. Piper needs to come out to her parents._ Is she ready to do this? _We need to talk. I was thinking about calling her when I received a message.

_Babe_

Sorry_ about earlier._ I responded.

_I'm the one who needs to apologise, I left you. Sorry I panicked._

_It's alright babe. How about you, are you ok?_

_What happened was embarrassing and I don't know if I can look your parents in the eye ever again, but I'm ok._

I'm about type but another message came in. _What did they say anyway?_

_My dad is cool about it, but my mom went nuts. She's worried that I'm gonna make you cry or something. I don't know why she sees me like I'm a bad guy._

_Because your mom likes me._

_I like you more._

_Get over here please._

_Miss me already?_

_Badly_. That's it, I'm going to her.

I'm getting ready to leave when I hear a knock on my door. _"Alex, can we talk?"_ My mom enters my room and she's now sitting on my bedside. I texted Piper that I will be at her place after 30 minutes because this talk could take a while.

_"Sorry about my reaction earlier. I was just shocked to see you and Piper... kissing. I thought she was just a childhood infatuation."_

_"I thought so too mom. You know I would have avoided it if I can, but it's inescapable. It's like there's a force drawing me to her. This is something science can't explain."_

_"You and your analytical mind. It's nice that for once there is something that you can't reason with." _She smiles.

_"I'm in love with Piper." _I say without hesitation. I finally figured out what I truly feel about her. This is irrevocable.

_"I know, that's why I worry so much. This is not going to be easy baby. But remember, your dad and I are here for you."_

_"Thanks mom." _She hugs me.

_"But I still hate the fact that your dad knew and I didn't!"_ We both chuckled. Then she became serious again._ "Just take your time ok? Don't rush things, Piper is delicate, and so are you."_

_"I'm not delicate."_

_"We'll see. And I mean it, you need to tell her parents. This is not something that we can keep as a secret, they deserve to know."_

_"Okay mom." _

_"By the way, you two are so cute together."_ She says and it made me smile. She then left me on my room alone and contemplating again. I need to get going, my muse is waiting for me. I'm about to sneak out when Piper texted me instructions that I should enter via her window again.

* * *

When I came closer to their house, I can hear people talking. They have a lot of guests, Bill must be throwing a party. This is good, it will make my visit more unnoticeable.

It is easier to get to Piper's room using her window now compared to my first time. It's already dark outside and there's only one lamp illuminating her room. I always love the smell of Piper's room, it's always sweet and intriguing for some reason. I notice that she's now wearing her pajamas, I guess she's ready for bed. Her golden hair is loosed and it waves freely. I love that she looks so excited to see me. _How did I get so lucky?_

She's so beautiful.

_"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Piper is the sun."_ I recite as I came closer to her. She chuckles lightly.

_"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she." _I continue and I cringe inside for being so corny but I want her to know that describing her beauty is beyond my words.

_"Are you trying to seduce me using Romeo's lines?" _Of course she gets the reference in an instant.

She pulls me closer to her and then she kisses me. _"I guess it's working?"_ I tease. Honestly, I probably need this more than her. Kissing her energizes me. All the stress building up inside me went away the moment her lips met mine. It's calming to hold her. _"Definitely." _She agrees.

I continue to kiss her as I wrap my arms around her body and held her tight. I then press my tongue into the warmth of her mouth. She welcomes my exploration with gusto and we are now both battling for dominance. I can feel her hands on my back as she claws her way up to my shoulders. I push her down gently to her bed, pressing her back to the mattress. I position my body on top of her's, slipping my thigh between her legs. We both groan. My plan of us talking about her coming out to her parents and my college application is long gone. It's like a switch has been turned on in me and I can't stop all of a sudden. I hunger for her.

I start attacking her neck with gentle kisses, making sure not to leave a mark. Then, for the first time ever, I slide my hand slowly down over Piper's chest, touching it delicately. Her body jerks and she pulls away from our kiss, releasing a cry out of pleasure. "Alex." She uttered breathlessly. It's like she's pleading for something. I definitely know what she wants though. And I'm frenzied by her body language. It's like she answers my every move with unique reaction.

I can hear her shallow breathing as I continue to knead her breast over her t-shirt. Good thing she's no longer wearing her bra, I can feel her hardened nipples. This feels amazing but I want her topless now._"Can I remove your shirt, Pipes?" _I look at her and she nodded in agreement with heavy-lidded eyes while biting her lower lip. That look on her made me crave for more. I start to remove her clothes but she became impatient and did it her self. She's very eager. I was dumbfounded when I finally saw her with bare breasts.

Damn she's so sexy. _Why did we not do this before?!_

Piper has always been insecure of how small her breasts are but they really look perfect. _"You're so beautiful." _I say and she reaches for my lips and kisses me. Her legs fell open and she wraps them around my waist. I pull back and started kissing my way down to her breasts. Her hands are now on my head pulling me closer. I capture her left nipple using my mouth and flick it with my tongue over and over.

_"Ah, fuck." _Piper groans. I continue to worship her by trailing wet kisses onto her chest, moving from her left breast to her right, back and forth. I can feel her thrust upwards and I know she writhe in pleasure beneath me. She's very responsive and I like it.

_"Babe, if you continue to do that I'm going to..." _What's about to happen registered to me quickly so I stopped.

_"I'm sorry." _I say as I pulled away.

_"Wait, what?" _She's confused. _"Why did you stop?" _

_"I don't want our first time to be like this. Not you half naked and me fully clothed."_ She might get angry but this is not how I envisioned how it would happen. And I did not expect it to be this fast for Piper. I underestimated her.

_"Let's get naked then." _She sounds annoyed. I would be too.

_"Do you think you're ready?"_

_"Yes, and you should stop deciding for me, Alex." _Now she's definitely upset.

_"I'm not. I just worry with...a lot of things sometimes. You know, like what you said before..."_

_"What the hell did I say?"_

_"That you don't want to be like the other girls I've been with." _This is so hard to explain, I don't even understand what I'm saying.

_"Okay...?"_

_"Forget it."_

_"Oh my god! Are you serious? You can't just stop in the middle of something like that and say 'forget it'."_

_"I don't want things to change between us."_

_"Do you think you'll get bored of me after we have sex? Is that what you're worried about?"_

_"Honestly, at first, I thought what happened between me and those I hooked up with before, might happen to us, but now, I know it won't. It's the opposite actually. If we do it, we won't be able to stop, going at it over and over." _Piper's dimpled cheeks were flooded with warmth hearing the last part.

_"You think that's a bad thing?"_ I smirk at her question.

_"Yes. Because you're fifteen and I'm going away for college." _She releases a deep breath. _"I guess you're right." _She says in defeat. I hope she understands.

_"Can we still snuggle?" _She's now being sarcastic. _"Of course, just__ please put your shirt back on." _I requested.

_"Not my problem." _She rolled over and let her back face my front then she pulled my right hand wrapping around her. I can feel the heat coming out of her naked torso.

Yes, this is going to be my problem. We will talk tomorrow.


	14. Catastrophe

I woke up with Alex still embracing me. The weight of her body being pressed against mine gives me security. When I'm in her arms, I feel like the most special girl in the world. She can easily makes me believe that I am everything to her. I wish these feelings are infinite.

I roll over so that I can see her face, we have been spooning all night. At the moment I move, even in her sleeping state, she tightens her grip on me. It's like she's afraid to let go of me, not wanting to lose me. Silly Alex, if she only knew, it's extremely hard to get rid of me.

How is it possible that I miss her while I'm with her?

I caress her face tenderly and when I reached her soft lips, memories of last night flooded my mind, my heartbeat went wild. She made me feel things that I have never felt before. It's unbelievable how the simplest touch from her drives me crazy. It's also embarrassing enough how easy for her to make me come undone.

So that's what they call the second base, huh? Aside from the fact that Alex knows what she's doing, the thought of her doing that to me is the major turn on. Maybe that's why I almost...oh gosh! Thinking about it again makes my whole body tremble. A part of me was upset when she stopped, but I was thankful that she did. She's right, we are going too fast. What if my body can't handle it? Thinking about it makes me scared and excited at the same time.

It's half past four am. We still have a couple of hours before she leaves. I usually let her sleep up to the last minute until she needs to go but today, I will try to wake her up.

I kiss her. No response.

She always smells so clean, masked with vanilla and mint fragrant. Intoxicating and addicting. I kiss her again, more deeply this time and with a subtle bite on her lip.

_"Hmm", _she moans and I can see that she's beaming lightly but her eyes are still closed. She'll never know how beautiful she is to me. I want to memorize every part of her face.

_"Keep staring, I may do a trick", _she says with her low-husky-just-woke up voice.

_"It depends on the trick",_ I answer her.

_"It involves you __twitching",_ and with one swift motion, she's now on top of me. She pins both of my arms just above my head wrapping her left hand on my wrists. The blanket fell off of us and it's a little bit cold, good thing I let Alex convinced me to put my shirt back on last night.

_"Why did you woke me?" _She asks but I could not talk back because she's attacking my belly with her right hand, tickling me to death. She exactly knows where to touch so that she can torture me.

_"Al, don't. Please stop!" _I scream hoping that no one will hear me. Thankfully, she obeys quickly. That is one of the great things about Alex, if she knows that I'm uncomfortable, she stops, whatever the situation is. I know that she really do cares about me.

After my breathing has evened out, I pull her closer and kiss her. Another thing that is great about Alex? She never turns me down. _"So, you disturbed my dreaming just so we can make out?" _She asks after we break the kiss.

_"Well it sounds terrible if you say it that way, but I'm trying to be romantic." _I say sheepishly.

_"It is romantic, and __sweet"_, she says and then gave me a quick kiss. She lays down beside me, I know she wants to talk. _"Go__od thing you woke me up though, I need to tell you something."_

_"No."_

_"What?"_

_"My answer is no."_

_"No to what?"_

_"If you're breaking up with me because your mom said so, then no. Tell Diane I know what I'm getting myself into."_

_"I'm not breaking up with you, Pipes."_

_"Okay, good."_

_"And she would never ask me to do that."_

_"Got it. I'm only clarifying that one out babe. So what's up?"_

_"My mom wants us to tell your parents that we're together."_

_"Oh", is the only word I could utter_ as a response. I know Diane means well, but I don't think what she wants is possible right now.

_"They deserve to know of what's going on between us."_

_"I don't think I'm ready, Alex. My parents, they are very different from yours. They may tolerate this but honestly, I don't think they will ever fully accept it_._"_

_"So your plan is to keep this from them forever?" _First time in a long time, I can sense that Alex is frustrated. She rarely shows this side of her to me. _But what can I do?!_

_"I don't think it's time to do this." _I say with a little bit of annoyance_, "and I'm not saying to keep this forever, I just need to prepare myself before telling them."_

No answer.

_"We can maybe wait until I'm eighteen? By then, they technically have no say about it. Right?"_

Still no answer.

_"Alex..."_

_"I don't know what to say. I can't force you to be out to your parents if you say you're not ready."_ She's brooding.

_"I will be, but not now. __I'll explain it to your mom."_

_"No it's__ okay, I'll talk to her." _She's still staring at the ceiling.

_"Are you mad at me?"_

_"Pipes, coming out is personal. I can never be mad at you, or to anyone, for not being ready." _She is finally meeting my gaze. I can feel her sincerity from the way she looks at me. I don't deserve this spectacular human! I hugged her ever so tightly in response, _"thanks, Al."_

_"So MIT or Harvard?" _I started the conversation to change the mood.

_"I'm giving you the power to choose for me." _She says with a smirk.

_WOW_

* * *

Being jittery is an understatement of how I feel right now, I can't stop thinking about our upcoming family dinner. Good thing that Nicky invited us to go out for lunch. We are currently at this diner trying to order but something caught my attention.

_"Did you just flirt back at her?"_

_"Pipes, all I did was ask if they still have pancakes."_

_"Yeah, and now she's gonna give it to you for free?!" _I think my voice came out a lot louder than I intended.

_"Calm down blondie, Vause has no control over her smolder."_ Nicky interjected and she's not helping at all.

_"Seriously?! In front of me?" _This is really pissing me off. My mind is no longer being bugged by the event I'm dreading to happen tonight but I can't believe that Alex just entertained the waitress who's definitely into her, while I'm watching. And I'm 100% sure that she knows what she's doing.

_"We were only negotiating and__ I didn't expect her to agree with me.__" _She says while she pulls me closer to her grabbing me by the waist. _"__And I don't smolder Nichols!" _

_"Whatever you want to call it, that thing you did with your face, it gives us a lot of free stuff, so keep doing it." _Nicky says matter-of-factly.

_"Does this happen a lot?" _I'm really curious of what these two have been doing when I'm not around.

_"Alex Vause is the epitome of sexual currency." _Nicky states while laughing. I instantly regretted asking her. _"And it works on both men and women." _She continues.

_"Don't __listen to her Pipes, she's just trying to entertain herself because Lorna is not here." _Alex obviously wants to divert our attention to a different topic.

_"Vause here has the ability to convince anyone to do any of her bidding just by her alluring looks and some chitchats. It even works on me sometimes, you know what I mean." _She says while looking at me with a wide grin, _"and if__ she puts her mind into it, she can definitely recruit a bunch of people and build a cult." _Nicky exaggerated but I get her point. Alex has this charisma that does work on many people.

_"There was this one time, we were at a club somewhere, there was this girl that couldn't stop eyeing her. I didn't know how but when we left the place, the girl came out with Alex, leaving the girl's boyfriend behind. That was fucking lit."_ I'm not sure if I want to hear these stories just yet.

_"Okay, enough with that Nicky. Did she broke up with you?" _Alex is seriously trying to find out what is going on with Nicky now and honestly, I don't want her going on about Alex's past hook ups.

_"I don't know man, she's not answering any of my calls." _Nicky gave in. I think the real reason we're here is for her to see Lorna. Her laughter is a front to hide her frustration.

_"What happened?" _I ask. I'm really concerned about them too but a part of me is glad we're changing the subject.

_"She saw me with an acquaintance the other day. This said acquaintance is leaving my house early in the morning, while simultaneously bumping into Lorna, who is at my doorstep, planning to surprise me with a visit." _I imagine being in Lorna's shoes and I'm furious.

_"Nicky what were you thinking!" _I might be shouting a little bit._"Why date her if you're not serious?!" _I scolded her.

_"She never said we're official. I don't want to assume that we're together." _She's got a point. That's exactly one of my worries with Alex before.

_"Communication is key Nicky." _I say.

_"Yeah, you just need to talk to her. Don't worry she'll show up, give her time." _Alex reassures Nicky that we'll help her find ways to make it up with Lorna. We then ate our lunch and try cheering her up. She continues to talk about how Alex can easily be a pimp and I stopped her from there. I had enough of her weird notions. I like my Alex to be just the nerd, confident, smart, understanding, and sweet Alex. Now that I think of it, words are not enough for me to describe her.

* * *

Alex is now driving us back home. She tries to hold my hand right after she shifts the gear and we exchange goofy smiles at each other every time.

_"Why did you buy an automatic car if you really prefer manual transition?__" _I ask after listening to her explanation about the different car transmissions. She definitely enjoys her dad's truck that we're currently on right now.

_"Automatic cars are more convenient and comfortable. And, I can always borrow this from dad when I miss driving a stick shift",_ she's happy when she talks about her favorite things. _"I learned how to drive with this baby. This is old but gol- -oh shit!" _Alex pulls over.

_"What happened?" _

_"We have a flat tire__, I can __feel it." _We both went out of the car and Alex is right, one of the front wheel is punctured.

_"Tell me how great your dad's truck again?" _I tease her.

_"I knew you'd say th__at", _she says while rubbing my back, which made me melt in an instant. _"Come on, help me change the tire, Pipes." _She ordered but in a nice way. She assessed the tire and found out a nail on it. _How did it get in there?! _

Now all we need to do is loosen the lug nuts, raise the car using a jack, install the spare tire, tighten the lug nuts back, lower the vehicle and we're good to go. Well, it was easily said than done, because it took us almost forty five minutes to finish up. Alex said she had fun doing it because it's her first time but for me, I would never imagine myself changing a tire again. I only enjoyed it because we're together. This made me realize that I can handle crappy situations as long as I'm with her. _Can I get any more sappier?_

_"Shit!" _

_"What is it this time?" _I ask knowing that her cussing definitely implies that we're not leaving any time soon. We're already seated inside the car so Alex went out again. She opened the hood and checked the engine. She came back inside the car looking for her phone.

_"We need rescuing this time, the battery is dead I think, I have to call my dad." _Alex looks apologetic. I smile to show her that it's okay. She then proceeds to talk to her dad.

_"He's on his way."_

_"Can't we just Walter White this thing__?" _And with that, I made her laugh.

_"Yeah if we have zinc, graphite, mercuric oxide and potassium hydroxide..." _I love it when she talks nerd and not even realizing it. _"But what they did on the show only works in theory, if you disregard the actual amps needed to start the RV. In actuality, the battery they made would not be powerful enough due to Ohm's law...why are you smiling?"_

_"Nothing." _I say while chuckling.

_"Creep."_

_"You love it." _

_"Yeah...I do." _She says with a smirk. _Wait what?_

_"So, I talked to my mom."_ She's obviously changing the subject and I'm thankful because I'm still on cloud nine.

_"You should have let me explained it to her."_

_"It's fine, I made her realize that coming out is important and it should be done in your own time. She wants to apologize to you actually, for being pushy."_

_"That's not necessary." _We smile at each other again for the nth time. She's now holding my hand, drawing tiny circles on my palm. I don't think she knows the effect of what she's doing to me. We then both got startled when her dad tapped the window making his presence known. Thank god he's here, I think I'm convulsing.

_"You alright kids? Sorry I got caught up in a heavy traffic."_

_"We're okay dad." _Alex reassures him. She then explained what happened and his dad is proud of us for successfully changing the flat tire. Then they start to talk about mechanical stuff that I don't really care or understand.

_"You're right it's the battery, and we really should have replaced it weeks ago." _

_"We should probably check the alternator too dad." _And I got lost to whatever they're talking about again. But because of what happened today, I now have the perfect idea of a gift for Alex.

They called a mechanic to take the car to a shop so that they can run further tests to make sure it's working properly. Alex's dad is now driving us home, and my anxiety is back.

* * *

_"So, how's Danny?" _Diane asks my mom.

_"Oh he's doing great. He's got a girlfriend now though, I hope she's not a distraction." _Way to go mom.

_"He said he's starting to hate pizza and fast food", _Cal comments.

_"At least he's not sticking with ramen noodles, those were my go to when I was in college." _Wilson interjected.

We are currently having awkward conversations at the dining table. My dad is sitting on the head seat with me on his left side. Wilson is sitting opposite me with Diane on his right side. Alex is between me and Cal, while my mom is on the other head seat across my dad.

_"I heard you're going for an Engineering course?" _My dad directs the question to Alex. That's weird that he's talking to her.

_"Yes, Sir. I think I'm gonna major in Mechanical or Civil, I haven't decided yet." _Alex answers.

_"She's going to MIT!" _I announce, I'm a little too excited I guess.

_"Just like your dad, huh__?" _Dad comments, he's still addressing Alex, _"I have always wanted for my children to follow my footsteps too but I don't think that's happening with my boys, but Piper might__", _he continues and he looks at me with a smile. I know that in his heart, he only wants what's best for his children, but he cannot dictate what we want to do with our lives.

_"Danny decided to be a Veterinarian, thanks to his girlfriend, and Cal wants to be a Programmer." _Mom gave out a disgusted expression but I don't see anything wrong with those careers.

_"Piper wants to study English and Literature." _Cal says and I want to strangle him right now.

_"It's one of my options." _I reason.

_"You should, you'll be top of the clas__s, Pipes", Alex_ comments,_ "__you're always erudite and well informed." _

_"Piper can be a great writer." _Diane says sweetly. These two are very kind.

_"That won't secure you with any future job dear." _My mom says.

_"My brother is a literature graduate with doctorate, he's currently a professor." _Wilson chimes in but my mom went on and on about why I need to be an accountant, because my dad expects me to, and she gave a subtle reiteration that I should not disappoint them.

They are trying to take over my life. They want me to choose the life they are designing for me. If I let them do this, what's next? They will never stop.

This is suffocating.

I still hear them talking but I think I am now in a different dimension. I just want this dinner to be over so that I can go to sleep. I want to drown myself with the illusion that I am in control.

Then I felt her reaching for my hand. She holds it tenderly and I look at her. She is giving me a close lip smile. This gesture is making me calm and it reminded me that she's the substantiation that I still have freedom in this world.

_"I'm in love with Alex._"I declared.

Deafening silence followed.

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading and I also love reading your comments!**


	15. The Aftermath

I reach for her hand when I notice that her mind is no longer present. Touching her is the only way I know how to make her come back to me. She looks me in the eye and I'm glad she snap out of her seemingly dark thoughts. In less than 10 seconds, her facial expression changed from devastated, to confused, to relieved and finally, to being hopeful? I don't know, but now she's smiling and I can definitely tell, she's up to something. What happened next is beyond any of my expectations.

She always surprises me.

I know she loves me, I just didn't know to what extent, until now. This love that she made known to me is the love I have always hoped for, it is my fervent dream. This declaration gave me purpose, like my whole life suddenly have a meaning. This might be an overstatement, but I feel like she just solidified the reason of my existence.

Everyone is speechless after Piper blurted out those words. I don't want to leave her gaze but I'm curious to see everyone's reaction. Bill's face is blank, my dad of course is smiling, my mom is in shock but amazed, Carol is shaking her head in disapproval, Cal is nodding with a smirk, and I turn back to Piper, she looks so brave. She is so beautiful.

My mom and dad's reaction is obviously opposite from her parents'. This reminds me of how they dismissed her freewill earlier, I hated every moment of it, and now I think they are about to do it again. In contratry, my parents look thrilled of what they heard. I know they are excited for us.

I hope I can fill in the void that Bill and Carol constantly creates in her life whenever they disregard her feelings. Everyone is now looking at me as I absentmindedly keep on staring at her. I see a hint of worry sketched on her face and it's time to erase it.

_"I'm in love with you too, Piper"_, and with that her countenance brightens.

Another long silence.

* * *

There's a part of me wishing that this muteness stays on forever. I know there are unpleasant things waiting to be said. Nobody talks for a lengthy two minutes apart from my dad clearing his throat and then Carol started to speak.

_"Love__ is not real at your age",_ she comments with a dismissive tone.

_"Excuse me?"_ My mom reacts.

_"I had my first love when I was thirteen." _My dad says.

_"And Piper is not gay." _Carol punctuates.

_"Mom, this is not about my sexuality, it's about how Alex and I love each other." _Piper tries to explain.

_"You confuse being inlove with admiration. This will pass."_ I saw how Piper's shoulders sagged because of what her mother is saying. I won't let her crush her soul again.

_"I know you may think that we're still incapable of loving, but I have never been as sure as I am about this than anything in my life, what we feel for each other is real", _my palms are sweating, I can't remember the last time I've been this fucking nervous. _"We're not gonna do crazy things, we know our limitations. We just want to be together and date like normal teenagers. We__ would like to have your blessing." _I say with all the courage that I have and I look at Bill Chapman. He haven't said a word.

_"Your happiness is what makes us happy, baby." _My mom says and I know my dad agrees.

_"I knew you've never been a good influence on Piper." _Carol is now directly attacking me.

_"Don't talk to my daughter like that."_ I have never seen my dad this serious.

_"How can you wish to be normal when you're doing-"_

_"That's enough Carol", _Bill cuts her off. _"Let them do what they __want"_, he says as he continue to eat. _"But keep in mind, I also want what's best for Piper.__" _He continues while looking at me and he's wearing this meaningless smile on his face. It's like I can sense the hostility lurking behind his polite facade.

_"Alex will not hurt Piper."_ I never knew my father have this confidence in me. It almost made me freak out.

_"Let's hope not." _Bill gaves out a laugh. Weather it be a joke, a sarcasm or him being serious, I don't know what he's up to. He then asks me more about my college application and the conversation continued. We talked about different topics until the dinner is over.

We went home and Piper is still my girlfriend but I'm not convinced that everything is okay.

* * *

_"Did __your parents talk to you yet?" _

_"I__ think their ignoring me."_

_"I still can't believe of what happened earlier."_

_"I love you__."_

_"You said that three times already, Piper. Not that I' don't like it, because I really do, but you don't need to say it every fifteen minutes.__"_

_"Sorry, __it's just... it feels so good that I can finally say it."_ I hear her chuckle.

_"I know, I love you too."_

_"Don't you wanna come over?"_

_"Hmm, I know we're out and all, but let's not push our luck, kid. I don't think your parents will allow a sleepover any time soon."_

_"There's always the window, babe." _This is very tempting but I can't shake the feeling of Bill killing me in my sleep.

_"Not tonight, Pipes. Let's show them that we're not one of those horny teenagers."_

_"But we are horny teenagers." _It's my turn to chuckle.

_"Let's take it down a notch for a while. We just dropped a huge bomb on them, let's wait for things to sink in."_

_"Okay, pick me up tomorrow for school?"_

_"Yes, my princess."_ She laughs. It's calming to hear her lovely laugh. _"It was brave by the way, what you did."_

_"No one has ever called me brave before."_

_"Then, never forget that I did. Goodnight, Pipes."_

_"Goodnight, __Al__",_ we ended the call. We talked for a little bit over an hour. She called me immediately once she's alone in her room after our dinner. She is so happy of how things have turned out. I also feel the same but I'm bothered of how easily Bill accepted our relationship. It's so iffy that I can't stop thinking about it. I need to talk to someone. I dialed Nicky's number.

_"What did Piper do?"_

_"How do you know that this is about her?"_

_"You'll never call me at this time of the night unless it's about blondie." _Nicky can smell bullshit. I told her about what happened and asked her opinion about Bill's behavior.

_"Mr. Chapman have always been a fan of your brilliance, maybe that's enough for him to overlook the fact that her daughter is dating a girl."_

_"I don't buy it."_

_"Just see how things pan out for now. At least you guys don't need to hide anymore._

_"You're probably right."_

_"I'm always right, Vause." _Cocky son of a bitch but yeah, she's almost always right. We then talked more about our college plans. Hopefully, both of us can get into MIT. Nicky is going for a Business course and I will be taking Engineering. We will be submitting early applications. I'm confident that we'll both get in.

Now that I think about it, my remaining time with Piper before I have to leave for college is numbered. We will be separated for a very long time. We need to make the most out of what we have. I need to set aside my worries and doubts for a while.

* * *

**Sorry for the short update. I just want you to know that I'm still here. Been busy working from home but I'll make sure to find time to write. Be safe everyone! **


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